


Billy Russo One Shots

by Obscurilicious



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-02-09 16:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18641578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obscurilicious/pseuds/Obscurilicious





	1. Moved

 

"Really, Russo? Another one?" you said as a gorgeous brunette came over and threw her drink in his face while you were sitting at the bar of your favorite pub watching a Rangers game on TV.

He wiped his face on the sleeve of his sweater. "Damn, whatever she was drinking fuckin' burns," he groaned.

"Yeah, well, something tells me you deserve it," you said with a merry grin, taking a drink of your beer.

"I'm so glad my suffering amuses you, Y/N," he said snidely, but with no real resentment. "Why does it make you so happy when shit like this happens? Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"

"William," you said faux-sadly, shaking your head slowly as if in regret. "I am your friend, but I am female first. As a female, it is my duty to take pleasure in the act of a dog getting a kick in the slats when he sniffs too many crotches. It's a rule."

"Whatever. Women shouldn't say they're looking for a good time and expect a call from some guy they hook up with the next day. That's false advertising," he said.

"True. I mean, how anyone could get a look at all that," you said, gesturing with your index to Billy's general face and form, "and think they'd be able to land you with one screw, I dunno. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot cattle prod."

"Thank you! You get it! I am not looking for love or companionship, I want to have sex! If I want love or companionship, I will call you or Frank or Curt." You rolled your eyes while he rambled. "Why are you the only chick who gets me?"

"I got thrown off a horse at a birthday party when I was ten. I hit my head pretty hard but I never had any medical attention. Basically I'm saying I get you due to brain damage."

"Nice. Now I have to remember why I hang out with you all the time," he grumbled.

"Love and companionship," you supplied.

"Right, right, the love and companionship."

"Though in fairness, you're really only getting the companionship from me because, as you pointed out earlier, I enjoy your suffering."

"Hey, you never have sex and you enjoy seeing others suffer! Maybe you should be a nun and teach at an elementary school?" he said as if it was the most brilliant idea he'd ever had.

"Hmmm," you said as if genuinely pondering it. "I don't think that would work because I really only enjoy seeing you suffer."

"Notice you didn't deny the vow of chastity," he purred with one eyebrow lifted.

"What can I say, Bill? I'm waiting for your hair to fall out, your metabolism to catch up to all the beer you drink and your gut to hang over your belt so I'm in your league and I can slice me off a piece of that sweet Russo ass," you said sarcastically.

"Hey, don't sell yourself short! I would be happy to bang you right now," he said magnanimously.

You dashed away a fake tear. "I'm so proud. I'm gonna go write about this in my Sweet Valley High diary that I have hidden deep in the back of my closet in a box labeled, 'Billy Is Dreamy.'"

"I fuckin' knew it," he gloated.

You snickered and rolled your eyes. "Honestly, Bill, why don't you ever try dating a girl? See if maybe they might be nice and provide love and companionship?"

He shrugged. "You know me, Y/N. All I'm good for is what's on the surface. Shallow as a puddle in the desert." He took a swig of beer.

"All wrapping, no package?" you asked slyly.

"Oh, honey," he said with a smug expression, "I got plenty package goin' on."

"Anyways," you said loudly to divert the Pervert Express, "someday you might want to wake up next to someone. On purpose. And remember her name."

He shrugged again and said quietly, "I just figure if they want me for this," he gestured to his face and body, pointing especially to his dick and winking, "they don't care about who I really am. I'd just wind up disappointing them and they'd leave me. What's the point?"

You bumped your shoulder into his and said, "What a bunch of bullshit. But, y'know, if you wanna wake up next to someone on purpose whose name you know, we'll just have a movie night and a sleepover."

"Sounds good. Let's go!"

"Now?" you asked in surprise. "I kinda thought Billy Russo had on his sex face tonight."

"Please. You think you know me so well," he scoffed, tossing a few bills onto the bar to cover your tabs, then guiding you through the Friday press out of the pub and into the street. 

"Do I really have a sex face?" he asked quietly, making you giggle.

"Yes, Bill, you have a look about you when you're looking to get laid. And the temperature dropped like fifty-seven degrees while we were in there!"

Billy took off his jacket and draped it around your shoulders. "Wow, that must be some kinda record for like two hours," he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah, it got me your jacket, didn't it?" you said with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah," he mimicked you, but he always liked seeing you in his jacket. Something about the long jacket swallowing your smaller frame made him feel good. He figured it must be because you were his only female friend. Well, except his friends' wives and girlfriends. But you were his friend all on your own.

But then again, he thought it might be because he was crazy about you. Maybe someday he'd even tell you that the girl tossed the drink in his face tonight because he had called her your name and then left without sleeping with her.

 

* * *

 

You had met when Curtis had been your physical therapy patient when he lost his lower leg. He'd tried to chat you up while you were trying to help Curtis through his strengthening, inserting himself into conversations until you told him to stay out of the treatment area when you were working with Curtis. 

Billy and Curtis both looked amazed that his charm and good looks didn't have you swooning into his arms and begging for him to take you, right there on the floor mats under the parallel bars.

Later, he had approached you in the cafeteria and apologized. 

"Hey, I'm sorry for disrupting Curt's therapy. I'm really grateful for all you're doing for him."

"Well, that's nice of you, but it really is my job. I just don't want anything getting in the way of his healing. Even his charming friends," you said with a sarcastic half-smile.

"Yeah," he said, actually looking embarrassed. "You're safe from my charm. Curtis threatened me."

"Well, I'm sure you'll survive having one less woman to bed."

"Well, I mean...Frank's wife."

"So, two."

He shrugged and added, "Lesbians."

"OK."

"Women I'm not attracted to."

"So, like at least a few million women in New York with whom to console yourself," you deadpanned.

"Hey, that was an insult to you, too, coz I find you to be very attractive," he informed you with a laugh.

You chuckled and indicated the seat across from you and he sat. "Contrary to first impressions," you said pointedly, at which he flinched comically, "you seem like a decent dude. It's cool that you're sticking close to Curt. He's gonna need his friends. When he gets out of here, his life is going to be so fuckin' different and hard."

"Oh," he said in surprise.

"Sorry! That was so unprofessional, I'm really sorry."

"Sweetheart, I'm a Marine, I can handle the odd curse word," he said with a laugh.

"Still," you said. "I work with military guys all day and I come home swearing like a sailor. You should hear my mom when I do it," you said with a roll of your eyes.

"You live with your folks?"

"Nah, but we have dinner at their house a lot. Mom says I need to eat something that didn't start out in styrofoam or the microwave once in a while. Apparently I am slowly killing myself with my frat boy ways," you said in a mimicky mom voice.

Billy laughed. "Wait, you said 'we.' You with someone?"

"No, I meant my siblings and me."

"How many?"

"I am the youngest of six," you said. "They got it right and stopped while they were ahead." Billy laughed with you. "Of course, my brothers and sisters say that they went so far off track with me they were afraid the next one might be the Antichrist."

"That's practically the same thing!" Billy said with a laugh.

"Right?" you agreed. "You got any?"

"Siblings?"

"Yeah," you answered.

"Nah. Not that I know of anyways," he said casually. "I never knew my father and I really hope my mother never bred again."

"Ouch. Sounds like a story there."

"It's very sad, would that count as charm? Could I make you want to cuddle me coz my childhood was tragic?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows lasciviously.

"Oh good God," you said, rolling your eyes while you laughed. "Tone down the bullshit!"

Billy was laughing with you and realized that he actually liked you. He still thought you were hot, but he wanted to hang out and get to know you. "You wanna grab a beer sometime? Not a date, just...y'know, shoot some pool maybe?"

"No bullshit?" you asked suspiciously.

"None. You seem like you'd be fun to hang out with. I promise not to try to get you into bed. You'll have to make the first move," he said with a wink.

With one last eyeroll, you said, "Yeah, sounds like fun."

 

* * *

 

You and Billy spent a ton of time together after that, going out for dinner or drinks a couple nights a week, seeing movies and just generally being joined at the hip. You brought him home to meet your parents because you talked about him so much they didn't believe you weren't dating.

They understood after you brought him over that you really weren't in a romantic relationship; but, along with everyone else who knew you, they thought you should be.

Billy deployed and you were constantly glued to your phone, looking for an email from him. They could come at any time and you liked to answer them ASAP so you could have a little conversation sometimes. Occasionally you'd Skype but that was always scheduled.

"When he comes home you two should go out on a date," your Mom said for the thousandth time since he deployed. "You miss him like crazy, that's more than friendship."

"Nah. I do miss him but we're not like that."

"I bet you could be," she said.

And Curtis said.

And Maria said.

And your friends said.

Honestly, you and Billy were the only ones who seemed to agree that you shouldn't date.

OK, so maybe Billy was the only one left on that team…

 

* * *

 

He'd returned home and you met him at the airport. It had been a grueling fifteen month deployment and you were so happy to have him home and safe.

Your Mom made dinner for everyone to welcome him home, and Frank and Maria and Curtis and the kids came, too. Your friends and families had sort of blended into a big, loving melting pot of people.

Billy and Frank had gone upstairs to change out of their uniforms and into civilian clothes. When Billy returned, the couch where you were sitting was full so he plopped down on your lap and then one of your nieces jumped on his.

"Hey, I'm being squished here!" you yelled.

Billy was tickling your four year old niece and growling, which made her struggle and they just kept squirming until you grabbed a handful of the longer hair on the crown of his head and yanked his head back and said, "Get off of me, you moose!"

"Fine!" he said, setting your niece down and standing up, then pulling you to your feet and yanking you back down on his lap and tickled you instead.

You were sheieking with laughter and squirming now, until you felt something...whoa. You stopped squirming and tried to get up, but he held on to you. 

You turned to look at Billy, who was studiously avoiding your eyes. "Bill?" you whispered, hoping nobody else was noticing the sudden awkwardness.

He put his mouth by your ear. "Just...gimme a minute, OK?" he hissed.

You laughed like he said something funny, but a moment later when you no longer needed to shield young eyes from the tent in his jeans, you got up and pulled him along with you and said, "Let's go see if Mom needs help."

Once you got to the kitchen where your Mom, Dad, oldest brother and Maria we're busy getting dinner together you kept right on going out the back door and away from the kitchen window.

"What the hell was that, Billy?" you hissed.

"My dick," he whisper-yelled back at you.

"I know it was your dick!" you whisper-yelled back. "What was it doing poking into my ass?"

"I just got back from fifteen months in the desert, Y/N! My dick is kinda going rogue right now! Maybe don't pull my hair if you don't want me getting hard."

You leaned back in surprise. "That's what did it?" you asked.

"Well," he said embarrassedly, "that and your ass rubbing on my dick. You ah...you have a really great ass."

"Oh. You guys were squishing me, I'm sorry I pulled your hair. I thought it was better than your ear."

He closed his eyes and shivered. "Yeah, it was so much better."

You slapped his arm. "Stop that!"

"Sorry!" he said reflexively. "Look, I'm gonna go home."

"Oh the hell you are!" you went back to whisper-yelling. "Mom has been cooking for three days because one of her boys was coming home from deployment! You will not leave here until you eat enough for at least six guys. Got it?" you said, poking him in the chest.

"Ouch. Yes."

"You need to get laid," you growled, then turned and walked back to the door, totally missing his eyes looking longingly at your ass as you walked away, his fingers flexing at his sides with the desire to grab your hips and sink his cock -- fuck!

"Yeah," he agreed. "I do." Then he followed you inside.

* * *

 

Billy was laying in bed with you, movie marathon over and sleepover in progress. In your sleep you had rolled over and laid your head on his shoulder and he had wrapped his arms around you, his hand stroking your hair.

He was thinking about that night four months ago at your parents' house and how he had almost blurted out that his dick hadn't gone rogue, he wanted you. 

Frank had watched him pining for you -- that was Frank's word, 'pining,' like he was a Goddamn Jane Austen character -- and told Billy over and over to say something to you. But, he didn't want to lose what you had together if you didn't feel the same way. 

He didn't want to disappoint you and have you leave him like everyone else.

You snorted in your sleep and he laughed out loud, waking you up by accident. 

"Huh?" you grumbled. "What happened?"

"Nothing, sorry," he whispered. "Go back to sleep."

But you were up. "Why you still awake?"

"Just thinkin'," he whispered, hand unconsciously stroking your hair. 

"About what?"

"Us," he said tentatively.

You sat up and leaned across him to turn on the light, putting your boobs within mouth reach with just a bit of a lean…

"What's wrong, Bill?" you asked quietly.

"Nothing!" he avoided. "Just thinking that y'know, if I ever was gonna date a girl, I'd want her to be like you."

"Like me?" you repeated, surprised.

"Yeah, but I know we're better off as friends. I wouldn't want to let you down and we both know eventually I would, right?" he said with a weak chuckle.

"Earlier you said something about not bothering to go out with a girl because you'd wind up disappointing them and they'd leave you."

"Did I?" he evaded, obviously uncomfortable.

“So you disappoint them from the start and then you’re covered, right?” 

He looked up quickly and then back down. “Something like that.” 

You shrugged. “Then you screwed up.” 

He smirked, thinking you didn't know the half of it. “How?” 

You put your fingers under his chin and made him look at you. “You never disappointed me.”

"We're not together," he said as if you were stupid. 

You smirked back at him. "Maybe we should be."

He smiled self-deprecatingly. "You can do so much better, Y/N."

You shrugged. "I disagree. Everyone who knows us says we should be together," you said, hand gently stroking his beard. 

He took your hand in his and shook his head. "Don't...tease me, Y/N."

"Bill, I would never do that. Well, maybe sexually, but not about my feelings for you."

"Wait now, what?" he said, in shock.

You used his surprise to climb into his lap, straddling his legs and leaning forward until your lips were almost touching. "The day we met, you told me that if I wanted you, I'd have to make the first move."

Billy's jaw dropped a bit and then he bit his lip. "Yeah?" he breathed.

You moved your lips a tiny bit closer, so that when you whispered again, your lips brushed against his. "Consider yourself moved."

* * *

 

A long while later, you laid with your head on Billy's chest, sweaty and panting, both of you exhausted, exhilarated and deliciously sated. 

"Fuck, Y/N, that was perfect," Billy said when he caught his breath enough to talk.

"Oh yes it was, Bill. You are quite talented. I apologize for ever doubting you," you said with a wink.

"Hey!" he said with a gentle slap to you ass. "For a nun you're a real tiger in the sack."

You laughed. "What can I say," you said, dropping a kiss to his chest. "I was holding out for love."

He inhaled sharply. "You love me?" he whispered.

You looked up into his eyes and kissed him gently. "I love you, Bill. I know you don't feel --"

"Shut up," he interrupted, then pulled you into a passionate, loving kiss. "I've been in love with you for so long. All of my friends know. Hell, your Dad and one of your brothers had a talk with me, they know. You are probably the only person I've ever met who doesn't know that I fucking love you more than life itself."

"Oh!" you whispered happily. "Oh! Oh my God, Billy I love you!"

Billy laughed and pulled you as close as possible, kissing you again. 

"I love you, too, babe. I want it all with you: house, picket fence, dog, kids. All of it."

"Me, too. I'll even learn to cook!"

He made a scrunchy face. "Babe, I love you, but how about I just do the cooking? We can have so much more sex if we don't have food poisoning."

You pinched his chest and then laughed with him. You had a feeling you were in for the ride of a lifetime with this man.

How great was that?

 


	2. It Takes Two

“Why ya hiding in here?” Billy asked you, blocking your way out of the small kitchen where you had gone to take a call.

“Ah, not hiding, needed to take a call. Which if you’d look away from a mirror long enough, you might recall I said before I stepped away.”

Billy did remember. He also heard Maria whisper, “Who’s Daniel?” when she glanced at your phone.

“Just took you a while. Thought you were here to celebrate. It’s not very polite to look for something better to do when you’re supposed to be with friends.”

“Are you actually going to lecture me on ditching friends to get laid? You? Really?”

“Oh, so you are ditching us to get laid?” he said as if he had tricked you into admitting something.

“No, I said ‘friends,’ didn’t I? You wouldn’t be included in that,” you snarled.

“Nice.”

“And, for your information, I have a date with him tomorrow night,” you said defensively and a bit loudly.

“Well, good for you. Better make him wear a condom, don’t know where he’s been, after all,” he replied, his volume rising, too.

“I’m sure he hasn’t been half the places you have. You should be sure to leave your body to science. I’m sure you’ve created new strains of STDs.”

“Well, at least I can get laid, sweetheart.”

“You are an entire MOUNTAIN of assholes, Russo!” you screamed.

“Wonder why you don’t have a boyfriend, sweetheart that you are!” he screamed back.

“Oh, typical fuckin’ man thinking that every woman’s life must be incomplete if she doesn’t have some man to order her around!”

Everyone in the living room rolled their eyes. You were all at Curtis’ place, celebrating his engagement to Analisa, a really sweet girl he had met through a member of his support group.

Frank got up to go break up the fight, as usual. He put on his mean mug/dad face and went into the kitchen. Neither of you noticed when he arrived but you both jumped when he pounded his fist on the counter.

“Swear to God, you two are worse than my fuckin’ kids,” he growled. “You two idiots are ruining Curt and Ana’s celebration.”

You had the decency to look guilty while Billy pointed a finger at you. “She started it!”

You gasped, scandalized. “How dare you?” you whisper-yelled.

“Hey!” Frank snapped. “I don’t wanna hear the details. I don’t wanna know who hurt whose feelings and I don’t wanna wipe any fuckin’ tears. It takes two to tango and you two have been fighting over who gets to hold the rose in your teeth long enough. Grow. The. Fuck. Up.”

You were nodding and looking at your feet, arms crossed over your chest protectively. “I hear you, Frank, I’m sorry. Can you just make my excuses for me? I’m gonna go.”

Frank heard the tears in your voice and felt like shit. “Yeah, kid, go ahead,” he said softly, knowing at this point an apology would do more harm than good.

You nodded and took off, grabbing your jacket and bag and heading out the door quickly.

Frank looked at Billy.

“Don’t fuckin’ start with me, Frank,” he said quietly.

“Man, why can’t you just tell her?” he answered his best friend.

Billy shook his head and said, “Lie for me, too, yeah?” Then he slipped out the door as well.

* * *

Billy didn’t live far so he didn’t drive over tonight and he regretted it. Maybe the walk in the cool night air would do him good, though.

He needed to quit picking fights with you. Hell, it was his fault tonight. It was almost always his fault. He had been studying you for so long that he knew how to push your buttons.

Frank was the only one who knew that your constant bickering was his playground-mentality crush on you manifesting. He even knew that it made him an asshole, or as you had called him, a mountain of assholes. At this point, all he had to do was smile at you and you took offense.

And the stupid part was, he liked you. A lot. More than any woman he had ever gone out with, actually; hell, maybe he loved you. So, this was unexplored territory to him.

You terrified him. And he had no idea how to get over his fear of you rejecting him enough to stop antagonizing you into rejecting him.

He approached an intersection and heard a voice around the corner. No, not 'a’ voice – your voice!

“Maria, I’m sorry I dipped.” You laughed bitterly after a moment. “Right, Billy treats me like shit because he likes me. We’re not in kindergarten!”

Well, emotionally Billy supposed he kind of was in kindergarten.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about him. I can’t be around him anymore. Just, I dunno, don’t invite me if he’s coming.”

Billy couldn’t let this go any further. He walked around the corner.

“Fuck,” you hissed. “I gotta go, Maria. Mr. Personality apparently followed me. Yeah. Bye.”

You ended the call and surreptitiously wiped your eyes. “Keep walking, dude. Not in the mood for any more of your insults.”

“I’m ah, I’m sorry, Y/N. I was and am a dick. You didn’t do anything.”

“Right. See ya,” you said, walking away.

“Maria is right,” he said quickly.

You stopped. Without turning, you said, “About what, pray tell?”

“I,” he cleared his throat to gather his throats. “I really like you. Have for years.”

You turned to face him. “You have to be fucking kidding me, Russo! You’ve been an insufferable asshole for like a year!” you replied incredulously.

“You ignore me! I’ve tried to talk to you like a million times and you ignore me!”

“Are you kidding me? All you ever do is talk about cars or your suits or celebrities you’ve met. You never talk to me! You brag!”

“I was trying to impress you! I know all you saw when you looked at me before was Frank’s bum friend, why would you want a guy like that? But I’m moving up since I left the Corps. I wanted you to see that,” he trailed off, embarrassed and ashamed of his behavior.

You shook your head and scoffed. “I saw that, Bill. What’s more, I was crazy about you. I don’t even know you now. And I don’t really want to.”

You turned and walked away, Billy’s heart crushed in his chest.

* * *

You had gone home and taken off your makeup and hopped in the shower. You had taken extra care with your hair and had itchy goop in it so you wanted to wash it off your scalp. You weren’t going to think about why you had taken extra care.

After you got out of the shower and put on some comfy shorts and a t-shirt, you looked at your phone and saw a text from Frank.

_F: Hey, kid. Wanted to say I’m sorry for how hard I went. Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings._

_Y: S'OK. If I wanna fight with the big boys guess I need to toughen up._

_F: Nah, you’re plenty tough. Just wanted to let you know I’m sorry for yelling at you._

_Y: Ha gonna apologize to Bill too?_

_F: Nah, I have a feeling he started it. He’s good at pushing buttons. He’s like a goddamn evil psychiatrist sometimes, especially when he cares about someone_

_Y: That’s just weird, Frankie_

_F: Didn’t say he was normal, said he was smart. Anyways, you good? Want some company? Maria and I can swing by on our way home._

_Y: Nah, just gonna watch some TV and go to bed early tonight_

_F: OK take care, kid_

You sighed. Another vote for Billy liking you. That’s three if you included Billy.

And you would love it if that were true – and if he was a grown-up. Unfortunately, you didn’t trust him not to know his mind and to want you because you were beyond his reach. You weren’t playing hard to get, you were playing protect the heart.

You were startled from your thoughts by a knock at the door. Frank and Maria. They were so protective of you. Cry in front of one of them and they show up at your door whether you want company or not.

You walked over and opened the door, saying, “I told you I’m fine…”

Billy smiled weakly and said, “Hi!”

“I thought you were Frank,” you said quietly. “That’s why I opened the door.”

“Oh is he coming over?” he asked awkwardly.

“I told him not to but I figured when you knocked…What do you want, Bill?”

“Can I maybe come in and we could talk?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah, alright,” you acquiesced. “Want a beer or soda or something?”

“Water, please.”

You went and got two bottles of water out of the fridge and handed him one, gesturing to the sofa. You sat on the opposite end and took a gulp of your water. “What’s up, Bill?”

He drank a lot of water to build up his courage. “Here’s the thing. I’m the same guy inside that I was when I was in the service.”

“Uh huh,” you replied. There was no judgment or even really interest. Just a response.

“And I was really afraid of admitting that,” he said without meeting your eyes.

You snorted a laugh.

Billy stiffened. “Why’s that funny?”

“It’s not funny. It’s a shame. You claim you like me now and I used to be head over heels for you. Bad timing.”

“So, it sounded like Maria was telling you that you have feelings for me currently.”

Your eyes darted over to him. “Just how long were you listening?”

“Um, you told Maria you were sorry you dipped. And said I was like I’m in kindergarten.”

“Little creeper, listening in!”

“Hey, you were around the corner on the sidewalk! It’s not like I bugged your phone!”

“Fine,” you growled. “Yeah, Maria thinks I still have a thing for you.”

“But you don’t agree.”

You sat up straight. “Look. I really liked you when you were in the Marines, and you nailed anything with a heartbeat but never looked at me twice. Fine. You don’t like me, you don’t like me. But since your business took off you’re like a different person, and apparently I’m supposed to believe that your new asshole behavior is because you what, you care for me? I’m sorry, Bill, but that’s just fucked up.”

He looked down and shrugged. “I knew you were too good for me before, so I went for girls that I knew I could get but, more importantly, couldn’t hurt me if they shot me down,” he said with a self-deprecating chuckle. “And I’m like this emotional moron. When you said you had a date it hurt, so I lashed out. But I’m sure he’s a really nice guy and much better for you, so you should go out with him and we can, I dunno, set up a custody and visitation agreement for our friends.”

“Every other weekend? Split the holidays?” you asked with a sarcastic smirk.

“Something like that,” he agreed with a half-smile.

You thought for a minute, then said, “So just to be clear, you liked me while you were still in the Marines.”

“Yeah,” he answered quietly.

“And I liked you.”

“So you’re telling me, yeah.”

“And you’ve been trying to impress me since Anvil took off.”

“Yes. Apparently not very well, though,” he said regretfully.

“And I did my hair and makeup and wore a new dress tonight because you were going to be there.”

His head popped up. “You did?” he asked, a note of hope in his voice.

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was it. If you admitted this, you were saying you were willing to start fresh. You nodded, too nervous to speak.

He stared at you for a moment, afraid that he was hallucinating or it was a cruel trick, but you were looking at him like you were somewhere between terrified and nauseated, which was pretty much how he felt, too.

He scooted over to the middle cushion of the sofa, hearing your quiet gasp. When he looked at you, he could see the pulse at the base of your throat beating madly and he knew his was, as well. “Does…does that mean you still like me a little?”

“No,” you whispered.

“Oh,” he said, heartbroken for the second time that night. “OK, I misunderstood.”

“I don’t still like you a little. I’m still head over heels for you,” you said in a small, scared voice.

He looked at you, joy shining from his smile. “Yeah?”

You nodded, a little misty. “Yeah.”

He took your hand and kissed the back of it, then used it to pull you closer and kissed you, gently but quickly, not wanting to press his luck.

You leaned forward until your lips were almost touching. “You call that a kiss?”

“I call it a truce. I call this a kiss,” he said, then he pressed his lips to yours and gently brushed them together a few times, then darted his tongue out to tease the bow of your upper lip until your tongue came out to meet his.

You both groaned as the kiss became heated and when you pulled apart for air, somehow you were on his lap with your hands in his hair.

“Wow,” you breathed.

“Yeah,” he agreed, one of his hands against your cheek and the other gripping your hip.

“So, we could have been doing this for like years?” you said, irritated.

Billy chuckled. “That and more,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Well I wanna hear about more,” you said in a breathy voice.

“Tell ya all about it later.”

“Why not now?”

“Now you need to cancel your date with Daniel,” he growled, kissing your neck.

“How do you know his name, you little creeper?” you asked with no real anger. His kisses on your neck felt too good.

“Heard Maria ask who he was,” he said, voice muffled against your neck as he licked and sucked your pulse point.

“Think I should cancel on such short notice?” you teased.

He sucked your skin hard, then moved his mouth up your neck and did it again. You started giggling. “Marking your property, Russo?”

“Yep.”

You grabbed a handful of his hair and said, “I don’t need to do that, do I?”

The pull stung his scalp a bit and he closed his eyes and groaned. “Fuck, no, but go ahead and do that when you want my attention.”

You leaned over and bit his earlobe. “Believe me, I will.”

He kissed you feverishly for a moment, then said, “Call him. Please.”

“I cancel this date for you and you better be in it for the long haul, William Russo.”

He took your hand and kissed it again, then held it against his heart as if to make a vow. “Babe, you’re the love of my life. I’m not gonna do anything to mess up my chance with you.”

You gazed into his eyes, nodded and  looked around to see where you had left your phone laying, then got up and dialed Daniel.

Billy came over and hugged you from behind, lightly kissing your hair and cheek and neck, anywhere he could reach, so unbelievably happy just to be with you and touch you.

“Daniel, hi, it’s Y/N.” You listened for a moment and said, “No, nothing is wrong but I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel our date.” After another moment of listening, you said, “No, I won’t be rescheduling.” You looked up at Billy and said, “Seems the love of my life returns my feelings and is the jealous sort.” You and Billy smiled at each other as you ended the call.

“I guess Frank was right,” Billy said.

“Hmm?” you said as you laid your phone down and turned into his arms.

“It does take two to tango. We were both wrong for a long time.”

“Yeah, Frank’s wise,” you said dismissively, then shot Billy a wink. “Let’s go to bed and see what else it takes two to do.”

“I’ll let you hold the rose between your teeth if you’re nice,” he said, letting you lead him down the hall to your bedroom.

“Oh, I plan to be nice, and maybe a little naughty. So you’ll need to hold the rose at least part of the time. My mouth will be very busy,” you said with a wink.

“Then come my darling, let us tango to bed!” he said with a laugh, gathering you close as they did in cheesy movies.

“How are you so good at this?”

“Babe, I’ve seen True Lies like a hundred times, and if the Tango is cool enough for Schwarzenegger, it’s cool enough for me.”

You were giggling as he did a very poorly executed Tango yet still managed to look sexy. “I love you, Billy Russo. As you are, as you were, whatever the future brings. I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

“Then, in the immortal words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, “I’ll be back – with an engagement ring.”

“I would have thought you’d go with “it’s not a tumah – in my pants.’”

Billy laughed and twirled you into the bedroom, pushing you onto the bed and diving on next to you. “This is the most fun I’ve had in bed that wasn’t sex.”

“It’s true that it takes two, but they have to be the right two. I’m glad we finally figured out that we’re our right two. I love you, Bill.”

Billy sighed like he could take believe it. “I love you, too, Y/N. Will you tango down the aisle with me after we become man and wife?”

“Dude. I absolutely will and I love the idea.”

“Then tango through life with me, Y/N,” he said seriously.

“Yes,” you said softly. “For as long as we both shall dance.”


	3. No Hands

“No hands!” Curtis called.

“Noooooooo!” you whined. “I am gonna get you back for this, Curt.”

Your friend group had a really really stupid game you played called ‘No Hands.’ It was a challenge game that could happen no matter where you were, though it was considered bad etiquette to do it in a professional or work environment.

Tonight, your dear friend Curtis Hoyle did it to you while you were playing pool. You weren’t allowed to refuse, but if you absolutely wouldn’t do it, then everyone present got to put their heads together and think up a suitable punishment.

Why did you ever tell them about Impractical Jokers? Before that you just got called names synonymous to ‘coward.’ Now there was a punishment.

You shot him a dirty look as you hopped up on the edge of the pool table and took off your boots and socks. Then spun around on your backside and picked up the cue awkwardly with your feet. You managed to hit the cue ball but it hit nothing, making you lose your turn.

Curt, Frank and Foggy were laughing their asses off while Maria was watching Billy watch you.

“I had no idea she was so bendy, did you Bill?” she said mischievously.

He cleared his throat, realizing that Maria had caught him staring again. “No, no idea,” he said quietly.

“You look like the time she had to eat pizza from her plate on the coffee table and she bent over in front of you,” Curt joined in.

“Shut it,” Billy snapped.

You put your socks and boots back on before hopping to the sticky, gross floor and taking a bow to a round of applause.

You went back to shooting pool with Foggy, a plan already in place for revenge. You lost that game and Frank played winner, so you sat back down at the table with your friends. When Curtis got up to go to the bathroom, you grabbed Billy’s hand and dragged him after Curt.

You slammed open the men’s room door and screamed, “No hands!” and then pushed Billy in to witness it.

“I hate you, Y/N!” you heard Curt scream, Billy laughing his ass off.

Billy rejoined you a few minutes later, still laughing so hard there were tears and looking at you admiringly. “That was positively evil, sweetheart.”

“TELL US!” you yelled in excitement.

“Curtis sends his regrets that he won’t be rejoining us as he has piss on his jeans and his fly is open, so he pulled his shirt down and is driving home and hoping he doesn’t get pulled over with his dick out.”

Billy had a hard time telling the story while laughing, and you all were laughing with him, partially at the story and partially at seeing Billy losing his mind giggling.

“He’s so fuckin’ mad at you, Y/N. I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you,” he chuckled.

“Damn, he has keys to my place,” you whined.

“Why?” Billy asked, acting a little put out.

“In case I’m ever locked out?” you said in your best duh voice.

“Why Curt?” he asked for clarification. “Frank and Maria live closer.”

“They have one, too,” you answered.

“Wow. Wait, do Foggy, Matt & Karen have one? How about Josie, does Josie have one?”

You leaned back and looked at Billy like he was speaking in tongues. “Dude, what crawled up your ass?”

Billy got up and grabbed his jacket. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he asked nonsensically as he got up and left. “G'night.”

Everyone at the table but you stared  down at their drinks while you looked around flabbergasted. “What the hell just happened?”

Foggy started laughing and then everyone else joined him.

“What?”

* * *

You were all out to dinner a few weeks later. You had gotten a promotion at work and the gang got together to celebrate at a little family owned Italian  restaurant that you all loved. The last of the gang to arrive, as usual, was Billy.

You had all been enjoying some wine and appetizers waiting for him to arrive, so a few of you may have been a little tipsy. He had come straight from work and was wearing one of his expensive suits and designer ties. And damn, he looked good. You were staring a little bit until Karen caught you and you looked down.

“Oh, my God, I’m starving,” he said, looking at the menu. “I didn’t have lunch.” He made the mistake of ordering spaghetti and meatballs with red wine.

When his food arrived, he picked up his fork to dig in and Frank said, “No hands, Russo!”

“Oh, fuck you, Frankie,” Billy said, looking at the spaghetti like he wanted to cry. Then he dug into his food with utensils. “I’ll take the punishment.”

You all gasped.

“Bill, are you sure?” you asked. “The last time someone chose a punishment it was so humiliating that Curt chose to piss himself in public.”

“Hey!” Curt protested, then shook his head and said, “Yeah, man, she’s not wrong.”

Billy swallowed a bite of spaghetti and said, “I might regret it later, but now, at this moment, my first concerns are my stomach and my suit. I’ll worry about my dignity later.”

“You’re a brave man, Billy,” Matt said, holding up his wineglass in a toast.

“Or really stupid,” Maria added.

* * *

Billy’s phone rang as you were pondering dessert, so he excused himself to go out front to take the call.

“Quick, while he’s gone, ideas?” Foggy said, bouncing in his chair like a child.

“No dessert for you, young man,” you said sternly.

“If we give him sugar he’ll never go to sleep,” Matt agreed.

“I have an idea, but it’s evil,” Karen said.

“Tell us!” Maria said.

“It involves…karaoke.”

“Noooooooo,” you said, scandalized. “That’s too mean.”

“Like A Virgin,” she continued.

“Noooooooo,” you repeated as everyone else said, “Yes!”

“So we’re doing this?” Frank said with a huge grin.

“No, you guys, this is too cruel,” you objected.

“Oh, you just don’t wanna do it because you like him,” Foggy said.

“Of course I like him! He’s one of my best friends.”

“Ha!” Matt chortled. “I wish my friends liked me like that.”

“Just say the word, big boy,” Foggy said.

“I just rolled my eyes so far into my head I saw my brain,” you said.

“It’s not just a river in Eeegyyyypt,” Maria sang.

“Wait, you all think this?” you squeaked.

“Think what?” Billy said from behind you.

You jumped about a foot off your chair and shrieked.

“Whoa, easy there, Y/N,” he said. “Gettin’ a little jumpy there.”

“Ha no I just didn’t know you were back and I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon,” you rambled.

“OK,” he said, forehead scrunched as he looked at you in confusion. “So, what do you all think? I figured you were in here deciding how best to humiliate me while I was on the phone.”

“Yeah, we didn’t all agree,” you said.

“But it was close enough so we’re doin’ it,” Frank finished for you.

“I can hardly wait,” Billy said sarcastically.

* * *

When you left, you all walked up the block together. There was a karaoke bar a short walk away so the group decided to surprise him. When you reached your destination, Billy knew immediately what he had to do.

At least he thought he did.

“I hate all of you,” he said as he went to the bar and ordered pitchers of beer and shots, then joined you at the table that you had lucked into.

“Jeez, Bill,” Karen said when the drinks arrived. “Thirsty?”

“I am not doing this sober,” he said.

Frank had gone up to put in the request to the DJ, asking that he didn’t announce the song when he said Billy’s name. He slipped him a $20 to make sure Billy didn’t know what he was singing until he hit the stage.

Billy was slamming shots like there was no tomorrow.

“Bill, I think that it’s going to defeat the purpose of keeping your suit clean if you puke all over it,” you said.

“I know you thought this up and that I’m your least favorite friend, so don’t pretend to care now,” he said with a slight slur.

“Wait, what?” you asked.

“Billy Russo, come on up here,” the DJ called.

“I’m gonna be awesome,” he announced before he went up on stage.

When he got there and picked up the microphone, the music to Like A Virgin started up and he looked right at you. “I hate you, Y/N,” he announced for the whole bar.

And then he totally owned the song, adding a few lewd dance moves and even flossing with the microphone cord at one point.

When it was over, he held his hand out and did a mic drop, then returned to the table. “Where’s Y/N?” he asked when he noticed you were gone.

“She left,” Curtis said.

“What? Why?”

“Maybe because you told her you hate her in front of a full bar?” Karen said.

“Or possibly because you informed her that you know you’re her least favorite friend and this was all her idea,” Frank continued.

“Man, she was the only one who didn’t want to do this to you,” Foggy said, unsmiling for a change.

“She didn’t?” he said in a small voice.

“No, she said it was too mean,” Maria said disapprovingly.

“I think my favorite part was when you told her not to pretend to care about you,” Matt said.

“But back at the restaurant she sounded like she was trying to get you all to agree to something,” he said desperately.

“She was talking about something else,” Curt said. “Man, she was upset.”

Billy pulled his phone out and ordered a car, happy that he had decided not to drive earlier.

“She’s not gonna answer,” Karen scoffed.

“Not calling her. Going over,” he muttered, going outside to look for somewhere with coffee so he could try to sober up a little.

* * *

You went home and got undressed, took off your makeup and took a quick shower.  _Do I like Billy? Am I in denial?_

Of course you thought he was handsome. He was objectively gorgeous, so that didn’t mean anything. And he was smart, also objective. Funny: objective. His voice was obviously super sexy. His laugh was enough to make you happy. The way he moved his hands –

_Fuck, I’m into Billy._

* * *

You had just put your pajamas on and went out to plop down on your sofa to dejectedly watch some trashy TV, hoping to numb your mind enough to put Billy out of it for a while.

There was a knock on your door. You looked at your phone to see if you had missed any calls or notifications, but there were just a few unread emails and a text from your sister. You got up and went to look out the peephole.

Billy?

You took a deep breath and opened the door with the chain on. “What? Come over to list a few more people I like better than you? Accuse me of some transgression that just couldn’t wait?” you snapped.

“May I come in, please?” He asked politely.

“Nope.”

“You’re really gonna make me stand in the hallway and grovel?” he asked in exasperation.

“No, I’m really gonna close the door and watch TV,” you said, starting to push the door shut in his face.

He stuck his foot in the door. “Y/N, listen –”

“No, Russo, you listen! The last time we were out you got pissed at me because Curt had a key to my apartment. Tonight you tell me that I don’t care about you, you’re my least favorite friend and I was single-handedly responsible for the plot to publicly humiliate you tonight. Every time I see you, you’re pissy,” you said angrily. “Get your goddamn foot out of my door!”

“I’m crazy about you!” he said loudly.

That definitely took the wind out of your sails. “What now?”

“Can I please come in?”

You stared for a moment and then shook yourself. “OK,” you whispered, shocked.

He moved his foot and you closed the door and undid the chain, the blew a big breath and opened the door. He looked at you sheepishly and you stepped back to let him in. His eyes were drawn to your bare legs but he brought them up to your eyes quickly. You were already angry with him, he didn’t need to add disrespect to his list of offenses.

“So ah…” you said. “D'you want some coffee?”

“Yeah, probably not a bad idea,” he said quietly. “I had some on the way but I still feel a little drunk.”

“OK so why don’t we call it a night, get you a car home and talk tomorrow or something?” you hedged, handing him a bottle of water. “Hydrate.”

“Thanks,” he said, accepting the water. “I’d rather talk to you now if that’s OK. I feel like now that it’s out there, if we don’t deal with it we could ruin everything.”

“OK,” you said, pushing the button on the coffee maker. “Let’s go watch TV or something til you get your land legs.”

* * *

You had watched part of a movie while Billy drank some coffee and ate some Chips Ahoy that were your comfort sneaky snack. After a while, he said, “I think my brain is less booze-soaked now if you wanna talk.”

You turned the TV off and turned to face him. “So.”

“So,” he agreed. “I’ve been kind of an ass.”

“I mean…I wouldn’t necessarily say 'ass.’”

“Asshole?” he supplied drily.

“There ya go.”

He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I’ve ah. That is to say, I’ve liked you for a while. But, I don’t do girlfriends.”

“Is that why you have a different Victoria’s Secret model with you every time I see you?” you asked with feigned shock.

“Do you ever drop the sarcasm?” he asked in frustration. “This is hard for me. I have literally never felt the way I do about you for another woman ever. If you don’t want me, tell me to fuck off, but these little jabs aren’t helping.”

“Sorry,” you muttered. “I mean, I just had to be told tonight that I like you, and then you announced to a full bar that you hated me, so I’m a little bit off balance.”

He smiled: not his professional smile, or his shit-eating grin, or even the smile that preceded his laugh. This was a soft smile that you had only seen a few times when he was around Frank’s kids. And then it hit you that you had an entire mental file of Billy’s smiles.

“Goddamn I am dumb,” you whispered.

“Why?”

“I just realized that I’ve memorized all your smiles.”

“I know all of your expressions. This is the one you get when you get an answer wrong in trivia games.” He gestured to the gap in the sofa and said, “Can I?”

You nodded, so he scooted closer, then he reached out to caress your cheek like he was taming a feral cat.

“Jesus, Billy, I’m not gonna bite.”

He exhaled and looked down, his hand back in his lap. “I don’t want to screw this up. You’re the first woman I’ve ever wanted to be with for more than a couple nights. I look at you and I see so much more.”

You smiled happily. “With me?”

“Yeah,” he said, his relaxed smile in place. “Only with you.”

“Maybe we should start with a kiss?”

His smile changed yet again to something seductive and almost erotic, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip. He reached for you as he leaned in.

“No hands!” you said, breaking the mood as you both started laughing.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely.

“For what?” you asked, perplexed.

“For reminding me that this first kiss wasn’t like any other first kiss. It needs to be special,” he said.

And then he wasn’t smiling at all; he looked almost like a child who was showing you he could tie his own shoes and wanted you to be proud of him. You leaned closer to him and met him halfway. This was the fusion of friends into something more, there was nothing passive about it.

Your eyes closed and your lips met, and holy hell, you had heard of sparks but this was like there was an explosion of light behind your eyes.

You leaned back and opened your eyes slowly, both of you looking a bit shell-shocked.

“Wow,” Billy whispered.

“Yeah,” you agreed.

“So…what does this mean for us?” he asked hesitantly.

“What do you want it to mean?” you replied with a question, and then laughed. “And do you feel like you’re in middle school? Because I’m sitting here feeling like I should remember to wear my retainer to bed.”

Billy laughed, grateful once again for your humor lifting the mood. He picked up your hand and kissed the back of it. “Maybe we go on some dates? Kiss some more?”

“That sounds like a good place to start,” you said sweetly, and then grinned. “I’m only sorry I missed your performance tonight.”

Billy started singing softly:

_“I made it through the wilderness_

_Somehow I made it through_

_Didn’t know how lost I was_

_Until I found you”_

You were practically swooning.

“Huh,” he said, a surprised expression on his face.

“Hmmm?” you asked, scooting over to sit next to him.

He draped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you close, dropping a kiss on your temple. “I’ve always thought that song was pretty stupid, but that first verse is kinda dead-on how I feel about you.”

“Do I make you feel like a virgin, Billy?” you asked, batting your eyelashes up at him.

“You make me feel, and I never really have before, so in a way I guess so,” he answered seriously.

You leaned up to give him another kiss, ending with a sigh. “Keep talking like that and the no hands rule will be lifted in no time,” you said with a wink.

Just then your phone buzzed, followed quickly by Billy’s. When you opened it, the group text you were both on had a new message.

“Oh my God,” Billy groaned.

“Oh my GOD!” you exclaimed, pressing the play button and watching Billy sing, dance, grind and floss his crotch with the microphone cord.

_Y: I love you so much right now, Karen._

Before hitting send, you asked, “So are you like my boyfriend? Are we using those words or…?”

“You like the video that much?” he laughed.

“No, I like you that much,” you said with hearteyes.

“Yeah, I like that word,” he whispered back, wearing a brand new smile that you really really liked.

_Y: I love you so much right now, Karen. I’d suggest a 3way but I refuse to share my boyfriend with anyone._ 😉 _Look at my man and that microphone cord. ::Swoon::_

“This is how you tell our friends?” he said with a laugh.

“You expected an announcement on Instagram maybe?” you said wryly.

“I guess we can do that for our next announcement.”

“Bill, I love them, but I am not making an announcement when I get in your pants.”

Billy threw his head back and laughed, and you grinned knowing you were the one that made him happy.

“God you’re amazing. What are you doing with a guy like me?” he whispered.

You caressed his cheek, loving how he leaned in to your touch. “Holding on to you for as long as I can, Bill.”

You kissed him again, ignoring your phones blowing up with messages from your friends – and also ignoring the ‘no hands’ call from earlier.


	4. Forget About Him

“Forget about him, Y/N! He was an asshole!” your best friend and current drinking buddy growled at you, referring to your ex who was your boyfriend until about six hours ago when he had texted you that you would be out of town next weekend and would you like to hook up?

When you responded to the text with the comment that you couldn’t be two places at once and did he perhaps mean to send this to his side piece? all of a sudden you were a bitch.

“Seriously, Y/N, you can do so much better than him,” Billy went on.

You had shown him the texts a few drinks in and he had wanted to go and teach him a very painful lesson about cheating on his best friend, but you had pointed out that unless he planned to finish the job and hide the body, he was the kind of asshole that would get Billy arrested, regardless of whether he deserved an ass kicking.

“Nah, Bill, he’s not even worth you scraping your knuckles on his teeth. You’re worth a thousand of him,” you said a bit sloppily.

You tended to let down your guard and be a bit more affectionate around Billy when you were drinking. He had learned a long time ago not to take it too seriously, because you never mentioned it again while you were sober.

But man, it fucked with his head.

Billy had been in love with you since the two of you had been stuck together in an airport while flight after flight got canceled about eight years ago.

Well, he hadn’t fallen completely in love with you that night, but he had fallen pretty hard. He had been on his way home from a deployment and you had been returning from a seminar. You had spent all night talking and laughing as you moved from concourse to concourse, running to make a flight only to have it canceled.

By the time all flights had been canceled, the hotel attached to the airport was totally booked and there wasn’t a rental car to be found. You had been dead on your feet and when he had looked at you and said, “C'mon, rest on me. I got you,” you had almost cried.

And from then on, Billy had your back. Oh, he wanted your front and all your other parts, too, but even being friends was pretty amazing.

You had exchanged numbers and met up while he was on leave, hung out together all the time and been each other’s support systems through all the curveballs life threw your way. And yeah, you cried on his shoulder when you got dumped or cheated on.

“You got the right idea, man. I should just hit ‘em and quit ‘em like you,” you said, signaling the bartender for another round.

“You probably oughta slow down, sweetheart,” Billy said quietly. “Hell, I didn’t even realize you were that into him.”

“I wasn’t,” you said miserably.

“Then why the sadface?” he asked, confused.

“Because he wasn’t even that great and I couldn’t keep him! What’s wrong with me, Billy?” you wailed.

“Nothing!”

“Well, my eternal single status disagrees,” you muttered.

“Look, you’re great. Maybe you need to change what you’re looking for in a man,” he said reasonably.

“How?”

“Well, you always seem to go out with blonde headed guys with desk jobs. What’s that all about?” he asked, offended that you apparently didn’t like guys that had his coloring.

“Nothin’,” you hedged.

“C'mon. Am I your best friend or what?” he asked, pulling you into a one-armed hug.

“Yeah, not helping,” you said, shrugging off his arm.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked irritably.

“Nothin’. Just drank too much, you were right,” you said, realizing you were in dangerous territory. “Think I’ll head home.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” he said. “I’ll call a car.”

“I can do it,” you said defensively.

“I wanna make sure you get home OK,” he said, continuing his tapping on his phone screen.

“See, you keep doing this! You gotta stop it, Bill. It isn’t fair,” you whined, dropping some cash and sliding off your bar stool to head out.

“Wait!” he called, checking to see if you had covered the bill.

“What’s not fair?” he asked, trailing you to the convenience store to try and stop you from buying cigarettes. “C'mon, babe, he’s not worth smoking again.”

“No, he isn’t,” you said, handing the cashier your money for your cigarettes and lighter.

“Then why are you smoking?” he asked as you lit up outside.

“Can’t a girl just get shitfaced and poison her lungs after mediocre relationship ends?” you asked in exasperation.

“No! Especially not when you describe it that way. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You! You wanna see the message he sent in messenger after I blocked his number and he couldn’t text anymore?” you said, pulling it up and shoving your phone in Billy’s face.

_Ex: Did you run to Billy yet?_

_Ex: did it ever occur to you that guys might get sick of hearing you talk about him?_

_Ex: Mr Fucking Perfect Russo_

_Ex: even if a guy could compete with the looks and the car, no way could he get past the way you look at him_

He looked up at you quickly.

“I think I need some time away from you, Bill,” you said quietly, flagging down a cab and getting in the back without another word while Billy stood rooted in place on the sidewalk, hope warring with fear of your reaction.

* * *

You woke up with a pounding head and the uncomfortable knowledge that you had overshared with Billy last night. “Fuck,” you hissed.

You shouldn’t have shown Billy that message. Not because it had been the desperate attempt of a cheating asshole to lay the blame somewhere other than at his cheating asshole door. No, you shouldn’t have shown it to Billy because your cheating asshole ex had been a zillion per cent right.

You were in love with Billy. You had started falling for him the night you had met him and had only gotten deeper into him since. He was everything you had ever wanted in a man: kind, intelligent, funny, protective. You knew that he would make a wonderful husband and father someday.

You just knew it would never be with you.

You’d seen the girls he’d dated: prettier, thinner, taller…better than you. After eight years of women parading through his life, you were pretty sure you knew his type – and you were not it.

So the fact that you had thought it prudent to show him the messages from your ex that basically said you were in love with Billy and no man could compete – well, that was something you’d classify as a colossal fuckup.

You picked up your phone and looked at it and saw a shitload of messages and missed calls from the very man. You looked at your phone like,  _not today, Satan,_  grabbed your cigarettes and went out onto the balcony. You didn’t need to read the questions you knew were in those messages.

You lit up sober for the first time in five years.

* * *

“C'mon, Y/N, those things are terrible for you!” Billy complained.

“I never smoke inside, I only do it when I’m stressed, it’s no big deal! Why does it bug you so much?” you asked in exasperation.

“Because it’s bad for you!” he said stubbornly.

“I mean, so is drinking, coffee, breathing New York air…getting shot…” you said sarcastically.

“Yeah, my job is dangerous, but I don’t jump in front of bullets without a vest,” he retorted.

“And I don’t smoke unfiltered Camels,” you said back quickly.

Billy hesitated, then said, “You’re my family, Y/N. You, Frank & Maria and the kids, Curtis… you’re my family. I just…need you safe and healthy.”

You looked at Billy and when he wouldn’t meet your eyes, you knew how much it meant to him. You stubbed the cigarette out. “Fine. But not one word when I chew gum or eat chips or whatever to take the edge off. And you’re my personal trainer when I gain a metric ton from eating constantly.”

Billy smiled happily. “Absolutely. I’d hug you if you didn’t stink.”

“Ugh. I hate you.”

“Nah. You’re giving up nicotine for me. You love me,” he said smugly.

“Yeah, I guess I must,” you said with a half-smile.  _Oh, Russo, if you only knew! You’d run so far and so fast you’d be a tall, dark blur._

* * *

It was almost noon on Saturday. You had been sitting on the balcony smoking and pondering your existence. And ignoring Billy.

Your phone rang again and you growled and said, “Ugh, give it a rest, Russo!” You picked up the phone to send the call to voicemail when you saw it wasn’t Billy.

“Hey, Maria, what’s up?” you asked, taking a drag off your cigarette.

“Wow, he wasn’t kidding. You’re smoking now.”

“That fuckin’ tattletale!”

Maria laughed. “You OK?”

“I will be.”

“Billy didn’t call to tattle, though. He wanted me to let you know he got called out of town. Since you won’t answer his phone calls or texts.”

“Did he say where?”

“No,” she said. “You know how he is.”

“Yeah,” you said, concerned. “I have to call him.”

“He won’t answer.”

“I know but…I have to let him see me call.”

“Why don’t you just tell him you’re in love with him, you large toddler?”

You sighed. “Thanks for calling, Mom,” you said.

“Call me later.”

“K. Bye.”

You hit Billy’s speed dial and waited for his voicemail, but he answered. “Hey.”

“Oh! I was expecting your voicemail. Maria said you had to take a trip.”

“Yeah but I’m still on the ground.”

Neither of you said anything for a minute.

“Be careful, OK?” you said, not knowing what else to say.

“Can we talk when I get home?” he asked. “Or do you still need time away from me? And if you do, why?”

“Yeah. Do you know when you’ll be home?” you asked quietly.  _Do you know how much longer I get to have you in my life before I run you off with the truth?_

“Can’t say for sure,” he said, which you knew meant he couldn’t, not that he didn’t know.

“OK. Be safe and let me know when you get home.”

“I don’t have to go yet. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Yeah, actually?”

“Really?” he asked happily. “What?”

“You fucking tattled to Maria that I’m smoking?”

He sighed. “I’ll call you when I get home. We’re gonna take off.”

“Take care of that fine ass, Bill,” you said as you always did when he was going into combat.

He chuckled. “Damn straight.”

* * *

“Come onnnnn, Y/N, I don’t wanna watch a chick flick!”

“We always have to watch what you want!” you complained. You were flipping through movies and trying to agree on something to watch.

“I’ve known you for like six months, we already have always?” he said sarcastically.

“Fine. Ass,” you grumbled.

“I do have a fine ass, thank you for noticing!” he said, hopping to his feet and wiggling his hiney.

“Ugh. Would you get your butt outta my face, you giant dork?”

He kept wiggling. “Do I get to pick the movie?”

“Yes!”

“Yes!” he echoed, but triumphantly.

“Y'know, you could give lessons on using your body to get what you want from women,” you said with a grin.

Billy wiggled his eyebrows and shoved pizza in his mouth. “Good Lord gave me all this, be a shame to waste it.”

* * *

Since then, any reference to his ass had to be prefaced with 'fine’ or he corrected you. The first time he deployed after you got close, you had hugged him and given him a slap on the ass. “Take care of that ass, Russo.”

“What? What did you say?” he said, holding his hand to his ear exaggeratedly.

You pulled him into another hug. “Take care of that fine ass, Billy.”

“I will. And you quit smoking!”

“Please. I’ll double up worrying about you.”

“Nah. I’m gonna bring my fine ass back, don’t worry.”

“Hold ya to it.”

“Damn straight.”

* * *

Billy would look at you differently after you confessed your feelings to him. He didn’t do relationships; he’d proven that time and again.

“Seriously though, Billy. Why are you such a slut?” you had asked him one night when you had stayed to help him clean up after he had some friends over.

“Where is this coming from?” he asked with a laugh.

“It’s coming from I’ve rarely seen you with the same girl more than a couple times.”

“Look in the mirror. I’m with you all the time.”

“Oh my God!”

“What?” he asked, looking around for the giant spider you must have seen to cause such a loud exclamation.

“I’m your Nick!”

Billy blinked a couple times. “I have no idea what that means.”

“I’m your emotional fluffer!”

“My what now?” he said with wide eyes.

You dragged Billy over to the sofa, opened Netflix and made him watch the episode of New Girl where Jessica was using Nick to be her emotional fluffer before she went out for casual sex.

“We are not like them,” Billy said after the episode was over.

“Well, you’re not as funny,” you said as an aside.

“Oh and you are?”

“Don’t distract me by impugning my rapier wit and humor, Sir. You use me for love and affection and then go out and have cheap meaningless sex with other women!”

“I really don’t know what we’re arguing about. Do you want the sex part?”

“Oh, typical male, goes straight to sex,” you ranted.

“I had plenty of nameless, faceless sex before I met you. I don’t need you to make my casual sex OK.”

“So if I don’t go see movies with you before you have a booty call?”

“I will be upset that I missed the movie bit still get laid, yes.”

“Well maybe I’ll get laid, too!”

“My cock is available to you at any time, sweetheart,” he said magnanimously.

“Man, that would actually be great if we could do a friends with benefits thing.”

“You – you wanna?” he asked tentatively.

“Nah. That’d ruin us.”

“How so?” Billy asked.

“Because friends with benefits who hang out and spend time together and are best friends and stuff is one step away from a relationship. You’d get cold feet.”

“Think so?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” you said, not looking at his face to see the utter adoration. “I couldn’t make it if we wrecked us like that.”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I always am.”

As you remembered that conversation and so many like it, you knew that Billy would run like a scalded cat if you told him the truth.

You would need to forget about him.

* * *

You were being chased by a swarm of angry bees. Had you stumbled across their hive? The buzzing was getting closer and more insistent –

And you woke up when your phone apparently vibrated over to knock into your water glass. You picked it up, grumbling, “What the shit, it’s 3:40? Who the –”

_Billy: I’m at your door_

_Billy: Open your door_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_Billy: Wake up_

_You: You have a key!_

_Billy: The chain is on!_

_You: Ugh_

You crawled out of bed and went to the front door and opened it, Billy sweeping in as soon as it opened, carrying a black duffel bag and dressed head to toe to match.

Billy in combat gear should be illegal.

“Did you not have an apartment? Did I imagine all that?”

Billy grunted quietly as he set his bag down, moving somewhat gingerly.

“Are you OK?” you asked, rushing to his side.

“I caught a couple in the vest. Hurts like hell.”

“Billy!” you cried, going over and pushing his shirt up and off so you could assess the damage. There was a bruise blooming over his ribs on his left side. You ran your hands lightly over the bruise, trying not to cry. “Did you get an x-ray?”

“Nah, just bruised.”

“You could have died,” you whispered, a tear slipping past your defenses. You wiped your cheek quickly and turned away. “Go sit down, I’ll get you an ice pack.”

“Thanks,” he said, noticing your reaction.

You returned with an ice pack and thin towel to lay over the area. “Do you need pain meds? Are you hurt anywhere else?” you asked anxiously.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Hungry? Thirsty?”

“Y/N, sit down,” he said. “We need to talk.”

“Bossy much?” you joked.

“Please.”

“OK,” you said, sitting down on the chair adjacent to the sofa.

“Damn, I forgot my bullhorn,” he said sarcastically, patting the sofa next to him.

You moved over. “Look, I know what those messages must have looked like to you, but I wouldn’t have shown them to you if I had been sober.”

Billy chuckled. “So not that they’re not true, you just would have kept it from me if you hadn’t been drinking?” he asked sarcastically. “Look, your cheating asshole ex thought something was going on.”

“There obviously isn’t! I mean, I know you get around but I like to think you’d remember that,” you said, paying back his sarcasm with interest.

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.”

Every variation of surprised emotion crossed your face. If he hadn’t been exhausted, in pain and terrified he might have been amused. There was nothing amusing about potentially losing one of his best friends forever, though.

You opened your mouth to speak three or four times, finally settling on, “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me,” he groaned, dropping his head against the back of the couch.

“When’s the last time you slept?” you asked quietly.

“I dunno, couple days.”

“C'mon, let’s get you to bed. We can talk tomorrow. Later today, whatever.”

“I want a shower.”

“Alright. Need help?”

“Just can’t wait to get me undressed, can you?” he joked.

“It’s that fine ass,” you joked back.

He started to stand and you jumped up to help him. He put his hand on your cheek and said, “Figure out what your response is because when I get out of the shower I wanna talk about this.”

You nodded. “OK,” you said. “I’ll help you get undressed.”

“OK.”

* * *

He sat on the counter while you took off his boots and socks, then stood to unzip his pants and you pulled them down so he could step out of them. It wasn’t sexy at all when you saw the bruises all over his right leg.

You looked up at him and caught him looking at you tenderly. “I had to dive when I got shot.”

You sighed heavily and leaned your forehead against his knee. “I really hate your job, Bill.”

“Is that why?”

You looked up at him. “Is that why what?”

“Is that why you won’t – you won’t be with me? Is that why I’m not good enough?” he whispered harshly.

You got to your feet and cradled his face in your hands. “You think I won’t be with you? You think you aren’t good enough?”

He looked down, refusing to meet your eyes.

You stood on tiptoes and brushed a quick kiss across his lips, over before he realized it had begun.

His eyes finally met yours.

“William Russo, I love you more than life. I didn’t think I could ever be enough for you after seeing eight years of girls you’ve dated,” you said quietly. “My ex was jealous of you from the first time he heard your name. After he met you he immediately accused me of lying about my relationship with you.”

He grinned happily, and maybe a little arrogantly. “He knew I was better for you, huh?”

“He’s not even the first guy I’ve dated that hated you,” you admitted.

His grin grew impossibly bigger and more arrogant. “Yeah? They all knew you were supposed to be with me, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’d say I created a monster but you’ve always been like this,” you said with a smile, amused by his smugness.

Billy smirked, but it was tinged with pain and exhaustion.

“Let me get the shower going, then I’ll go get something for you to wear.”

You bent over to turn on the shower and felt his hands on your hips and he was rubbing against your ass. “Down, boy.”

He chuckled and pulled you upright, then turned you around and pulled you against him, slowly leaning in for a real kiss. You slid your arms up his chest, feeling the play of muscles under his skin and moaned. The sound drove Billy a little crazy and he crushed you to his chest, then groaned in pain. You both remembered then that he was pretty beat up and needed to get cleaned up and into bed.

He stroked your hair and said, “To be continued?”

“Absolutely, Billy.”

Billy looked at you with adoration, relief, lust and pride. “I love you, Y/N. I think I have since that first night at the airport.”

“Me, too. Wow. We dumb.”

Billy laughed. “Yeah, well, we got there, that’s what counts.”

You kissed him gently and then helped him into the shower, smacking his bare ass lightly.

“Can’t keep your hands off, huh?”

“Nope. And now I don’t have to,” you said with a grin before you pulled the shower curtain shut.

“If you think my ass is fine, you should see the front.”

“Maybe tomorrow, babe.”

He peeked out around the curtain. “Babe?”

You sneaked a kiss. “Babe.”

He smiled and pulled the curtain, hurrying through washing up and turning off the water. You had a towel waiting for him and helped him out.

“I want you,” he whispered as you dried his hair and back for him so he didn’t have to twist.

You inhaled sharply, his words doing their job. You looked into his eyes and said, “I want you, too. Forever.”

He kissed you, then, long and slow, a kiss of love and the future.

“C'mon, babe. Let’s get you to bed.”

You helped him pull his underwear up part of the way and then gave him a second to pull them up and take off the towel. He grabbed his toothbrush out of the medicine cabinet and brushed his teeth and then you took his hand and led him to your bed.

You got into bed and let him lay how he was comfortable, then he pulled you against his chest.

“Hand me your phone,” he said.

“Why?” you asked as you complied.

“Wanna take a pic to send to the cheating asshole ex,” he said with a grin.

“Ugh,” you grunted. “Forget about him.”

“Smile,” he said, and even though you thought he was being silly, it felt kind of nice that he was being territorial.

He was tapping away at the screen and then handed it to you.

_You: Hey, Billy here. Thanks for pushing her into my arms. She looks good there, huh?_

He showed you proudly.

“So petty,” you said with a grin.

“Just wanted him to know he did us a solid.”

You snickered. “Love you, Bill.”

“Love you, too,” he said, kissing your forehead.

You drifted off to sleep together, both of you secure in knowing that you had finally found your way into the arms where you belonged.


	5. Drunk In Love

The word ‘No’ meant 'no’ in so many languages, and was understood by people who spoke other languages around the globe. Well, except in Polish; in Polish, the word 'No’ was spelled and pronounced the same as in English but actually meant something closer to yes. But that’s irrelevant. The point here was that no was a generally accepted response to the negative to most English speakers, many non-English speakers and zero Billy Russos.

He really couldn’t take a hint.

“Why don’t we ever see each other without our friends?” he was currently asking you. “I like you, surely you like me. Why don’t we go out and see what happens sometime?”

“Wow,” you said in amused shock. You were sitting at a high table, reluctantly celebrating a friend’s birthday at a trendy club that hadn’t been your style for about five years: too loud, over-priced, watered-down drinks and beautiful people trying to lure the object of their desire into whatever it was they desired. And, Billy Russo was the most beautiful man in the place.

“What?” he replied with a laugh, taking a sip of his drink.

“I just can’t decide whether that comment deserved an 'Are you fuckin’ kidding me?’ or a 'Don’t call me Shirley’,” you said with a sarcastic smile.

He smiled back, overweening conceit simply not grasping that you didn’t appear to want him. “Drunk in Love” started playing and he had somehow moved closer when you weren’t looking. “They’re playing our song,” he said, close enough for his breath to heat your ear and his voice to make you want to squirm a bit, but not actually touching you.

You looked up at him, into his eyes  “Y'know, I feel drunk when I’m around you,” you said just loudly enough for him to hear.

“Happy and,“ he looked you up and down, paying close attention to your long, bare legs in high heels, "free?”

You looked him up and down, every bit as slowly and seductively as he had inspected you. “No, like I wanna throw up on everything then sleep it off.”

Billy looked surprised and then threw his head back and shouted a laugh.

You wrinkled your brows in confusion, smiling despite yourself. "Have you had so much to drink that you don’t recognize a rejection when you hear one, Russo?”

“Oh, I don’t consider that a rejection, sweetheart,” he said.

“Really?” you said skeptically. “Then how did you take it?”

“As a challenge,” he breathed into your ear, his finger trailing down your arm as he melted away, just as your girlfriends returned from dancing.

* * *

Billy let the crowd move him away from you now that your friends had returned. He probably shouldn’t have approached you when you were out on a girl’s night. You barely tolerated him when you were with your mutual friends: Frank and Karen, Matt, Curtis, and Foggy and Marci.

He wasn’t sure what he had done to offend you so, but you’d had an almost visceral dislike of Billy from nearly the moment you’d met; unfortunately, he’d had the exact opposite reaction.

Maybe he should ask Frank to have Karen find out? He didn’t know Foggy well enough to have him find out, though you had gone to law school with that bunch and were closer to them so they would be the best sources of information.

He absolutely wouldn’t ask Matt. He was too good looking and too friendly with you. Karen had told Billy several times that you and Matt were just friends, but he’d seen you casually touch each other too many times not to be jealous.

In any case, you had made it clear time and again that you weren’t interested. He just wished he wasn’t.

* * *

_That was strange._  Billy had flirted with you before but you had always assumed that it was because you were the only unattached female in the group of friends. There were plenty of other choices here, though.

It didn’t really matter, though. Marci had warned you about him before she introduced you. He was a womanizer supreme and went through women like tissues. Any time you had seen him outside of friend events, he had a different female on his arm, so it seemed that Marci had been right on with that evaluation.

She also doubted his trustworthiness, though that was based on an unfortunate incident that he had made peace over with Frank. You didn’t really need that information, though; the womanizer thing was enough to make you keep your distance. Besides, he’d been cleared of any wrongdoing in that sordid business.

But tonight, he’d almost seemed serious, like he wanted you, not any female. The challenge part was more likely to be the reason, though. _Don’t anthropomorphize Russo,_  you reminded yourself.  _Just because you imagine human emotions doesn’t mean he cares._

* * *

The following weekend was the monthly game night. The host rotated between Karen and Frank or Foggy and Marci’s place as they had the space. Billy had room, but he was busy or out of town with Anvil so much that he didn’t offer, but he always brought beer and a bottle of booze when he came.

You brought your famous nacho dip and chessmen banana pudding. Generally, those were the requests when you asked what to bring, though whether they were really that good or they were the only edible things you made, you didn’t know.

When you pulled in, you were surprised Billy’s car was already there. Not only was he showing up to a game night but he was also on time. Usually he only came out for drinks or dinner, and that was usually a late appearance.

You had a weird combined dread/excitement feeling in your gut. Were you actually starting to look forward to your run-ins with him? You shook your head and decided to focus on the dread. Falling for a poonhound like Billy Russo was simply not an option.

* * *

 

You had been playing Trivial Pursuit at the table until Foggy won, then headed over to plop on the sofa for Charades. You drew lots for teams and wound up on a team with Foggy, Billy and Curtis. Frank, Karen and Marci were on the other team with Matt cheering both sides. You had suggested that perhaps a game that wasn’t so vision-dependent would be a better choice, but Matt said he enjoyed listening to you all roast each other in games like Charades and Pictionary.

Your teams were neck and neck, all of you working together well. It pained you to play nice with Billy, but not as much as losing would hurt.

It was his turn and when he opened the bright pink slip of paper Karen had passed out for everyone to write clues on, he grinned at you. You rolled your eyes, wondering what he was up to as he signaled for a song title with three words.

He mimed drinking and then staggered, so Curtis said, “Seen you do that plenty of times, brother. Drunk!”

“DRUNK IN LOVE!” you yelled excitedly.

Billy winked at you and tapped his nose at the same time, reminding you that he had referred to it as 'our song’ when it came on at the club. It was Karen’s turn and she vacated the spot next to you, so he plopped down casually.

“Nice work,” he said in a deep, sexy voice.

“Was that even the actual title you pulled?” you asked quietly, not wanting the other team to hear.

“What are you suggesting?” he whispered, leaning a little closer.

“I’m suggesting,” you whispered back, turning to look at him and being almost nose to nose, “that you didn’t do the clue on the paper to flirt with me.”

“My, someone has a high opinion of herself,” he purred.

“Let me see the paper,” you demanded quietly, playfully. “I saw you slip it into your pocket.”

“You want it, sweetheart? Come get it,” he challenged quietly. “But what do I get if I did the clue as written?”

You smirked knowingly. “What do you want?” you asked, knowing it was a dangerous question but enjoying the tete-a-tete too much to be cautious.

“Go out with me,” he said with a smug smile that worried you.

You narrowed your eyes but were enjoying the dance too much to back down now. “And what do I get if that slip of paper says something else?”

“You can still go out with me,” he said with a confident grin.

You smiled. For some reason, Billy Russo seemed way more attractive than usual.

And then Marci broke the spell by calling your name. “Hey, you gonna go tonight some time?” she asked loudly.

“Oh!” you said, embarrassed that you had been so wrapped up in Billy that you didn’t even notice that it was your turn. And Charades was usually a blood sport! “Yeah, sorry.”

You got up to pull a clue out of the bowl, totally missing the frustrated look Billy shared with Frank.

* * *

You played for another hour or so before people started drifting home. You grabbed your handbag and thanked Karen and Frank and said a general, “Goodbye!” when Marci grabbed you.

“Hey, can I get a ride home?” she asked.

“What the hell, Marc, we literally live together!” Foggy exclaimed.

“Yup, see ya there!” she chirped as she shoved you out the door, causing you to trip.

“Ow! What the fuck, Marci?” you exclaimed.

“What was all that whispering with Russo?” she hissed at you as you moved toward your car.

“I’m sorry, do I need to clear conversations with you now, Mom?” you asked sarcastically.

She shook her head. “No. But you know what he is. Just wanted to remind you not to play with fire.”

“Well, if I do, it won’t be anyone’s fault but my own if I get burned, right?” you asked cheerfully.

“Don’t be stupid, girl. Men like Billy Russo don’t do anything but burn women,” she said bitterly. “They use their charm and good looks and draw you in until you’re head over heels. You give them everything until there’s nothing left and then they throw you away like a used rubber.”

“Wow. That was…colorful,” you replied in surprise. “Marci, everyone has been hurt. Hell, Billy’s probably been hurt at some point. But, you have to take a chance, right? I mean, you took another chance with Foggy and you’re super happy, right?”

“Yeah, but Billy is no Foggy. You know that, right?”

“I do. And I barely know Billy, Marc. He’s just flirting, and hey, I’m flattered. The man is gorgeous! He can and I’m sure does get any woman he wants. But here’s the thing,” you said quietly, “I’m a big girl and I know what he is. I have to trust him for him to hurt me, and that does not seem like something that’s gonna happen, does it?”

“No,” she said grudgingly.

“Nope. I’m fine, Marci. I love you for worrying about me, but I’m fine.”

“OK,” she said quietly as you pulled up in front of her apartment building. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

You pulled her into a hug. “I’ll be careful,” you said. “Night, babe.”

“Night. Thanks for the ride.”

“Welcome! And hey,” you said brightly, “thanks for the lecture!”

She chuckled as she hopped out of the car and walked up to her door.

* * *

After you dropped Marci off, you thought about your flirty banter with Billy. You were beginning to think that he wanted more than just another notch on his bedpost, but that was so off-brand for Russo that you shook your head. Marci was right. To paraphrase the mean girls from Gone With The Wind, men like Billy might flirt with girls like you but he doesn’t marry them.

Still, flirting was fun.  _No harm in a little fun,_  you reassured yourself as you pulled into your parking spot.

* * *

Frank and Curtis tried to calm an upset Billy while Frank gave Karen the eye to talk to Foggy while he was apart from Marci.

“So, Fogg,” Karen began casually, “what’s up with Marci hating Billy?”

“Oh, man, not you, too!” he groaned. “Billy hit and quit a friend of Marci’s. She came over crying all over Marc when he said he wasn’t interested in seeing her again, but even she said that he was up front about that before they had sex, so I don’t even understand why she straight loathes the dude.”

“She sure is cockblocking Billy now,” Karen said with a chuckle. “It’s probably not nice of me to say so, but it’s kind of enjoyable to see the player getting shot  down. But damn, enough is enough!”

“Right? Sooner or later it’s gonna become a problem,” Matt agreed. “Bill’s crazy about that girl and Marci keeps giving him the evil eye whenever he even looks at her.”

Foggy sighed. “I’ll try and talk to her, but guys – she scary.”

“Yeah, but look at him,” Karen said. “That’s not a man irritated because he can’t get in a girl’s pants. I think he really likes her.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I’ll do what I can.”

* * *

Your family owned a construction business, built from the ground up over generations and every family member worked there in some capacity. You had gone to law school and now handled all of the family legal decisions and proceedings. Your first job with the business had been learning to swing a hammer and cleaning up debris on job sites; just because you were the bosses’ kids didn’t mean that you got a break.

Well. Except your oldest cousin, who for some reason could do no wrong in your family’s’ eyes. He was a slacker and a jerk and you had never gotten along.

Your great-grandparents and their kids had put everything into the business and it was thriving. Your grandparents had retired to Florida when you were a teenager and handed the business over to your parents and aunts and uncles. They had recently handed the reins over to your jackass cousin so that they could snowbird to Florida for part of the year. He was CEO and they were board members, but the bottom line was Joey made the decisions now.

And you had already caught him trying to break the law three times.

You had just left him a fourth voicemail telling him that you had filing deadlines and that you needed paperwork from the site he was overseeing, but you knew damn good and well he wouldn’t return your call and you’d wind up either getting fined or begging for an extension.

“Screw it,” you muttered, grabbing your things to leave early.

“Ricky, I’m heading over to the Marigold site to get the paperwork your idiot brother can’t be bothered to get to me on time.”

Your long-suffering cousin sighed and said, “I know he’s an idiot, you don’t have to preface everything you say about him that way.”

“Sorry,” you said. “Hard to believe you both dropped out of your Mom, you’re so different.”

“Nice,” he said with a shiver.

“Typical man,” you teased. “Can’t wait to get in but don’t like to think of how you got here. Your parents had sexxxxxxx, Ricky!”

“I hate you,” he groaned, closing his eyes at the mental imagery and trying to make it go away.

“Love you, too, buddy. See you tomorrow,” you called over your shoulder.

“Not if I see you first,” he said, only half joking.

You giggled. It was nice to work with family from that respect. You imagined that if you worked for the firm with Marci, you’d be called to HR for harassment for reminding your assistant his parents had sex.

You went to your parking spot and opened the back of your SUV, quickly and modestly sliding jeans on under your skirt and then shimmying out of it and putting on socks and work boots. Grabbing your hard hat, you got in and headed to the job site.

When you arrived, you noticed that there were no workers; it wasn’t even four o'clock, what the hell? Did Joey declare it a holiday? You parked close to the fence, willing to hike it to avoid driving over a nail.

As you turned the corner, you saw two unfamiliar cars parked next to Joey’s flashy sports car outside the trailer that you brought to sites to use as an office. Wrinkling your brow, you wondered what the fuck he’d gotten into now.

Approaching the office, you heard raised voices, and then a clatter, as if a chair had been thrown. Should you call the police or would that cause even more trouble for the company?

You decided to peek in the window to see what was happening. You grabbed a five gallon bucket and carried it over to the window, turning it upside down and using it as a stool. When you looked into the trailer, you saw Joey taped to the office chair and four guys standing around him, one wiping Joey’s blood off of his hand.

“Did you think coz Knuckles is in jail you can slack off?” one said loudly, punctuating the question with a punch.

You saw Joey’s mouth move, but couldn’t make out what he said, then saw one of the men pull a gun and shoot your cousin in the head.

You let out a yelp and fell off the bucket onto your ass, immediately running for your SUV.

You had just witnessed your cousin’s murder, and they didn’t seem like they would mind adding one more body to their day’s work.

* * *

You got into your truck and sped away, looking to see if you had been noticed. There were a couple of the guys watching you drive away, one with a phone to his ear.

“Shit,” you hissed. What should you do?

You used your voice activation on your phone to call Karen.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked.

“I just saw some guys murder my cousin and they know I saw them and I don’t know what to do what should I do?” you babbled.

“OK OK, I’m gonna put you on speaker,” she said, then asked, “where are you?”

You gave her your location and you heard Frank talking in the background. “OK, sweetheart, can you see anyone following you?” he asked.

“No, they were driving b-black sedans. I dunno, I don’t see anyone but they could be anywhere!” you said frantically.

“Frank’s making a plan on his phone, just keep driving for a couple minutes and we’ll be ready to help you.”

“Karen, one of them said something about somebody in jail called Knuckles! What the hell was Joey into?”

“Shit,” you heard Frank hiss in the background, then you heard him start talking faster.

“It’s gonna be OK, Frank’s got a plan. Here he is.”

“OK, sweetheart, where are you exactly?”

After you gave him your location again, he said, “OK we can work with that. Go up six blocks, turn right and go down one more block and pull into the parking garage, go to the second deck and find a spot, then grab your shit and duck down. We’re gonna swap vehicles.”

“OK but what then?”

“Talk to Karen, I gotta go right now,” he said, handing the phone to Karen and running audibly away.

Karen tried to keep you calm while you followed Frank’s instructions. You saw the parking garage by a medical building and drove in slowly, as if you were there for a regular appointment. You kept an eye on the rearview while you drove to the second floor, then parked near the stairs when you didn’t see anyone.

“I’m here,” you said.

“OK, I’m gonna hang up so Frank can call you. They’ll be there soon, I promise.”

Removing the key fob from your purse, you grabbed your bag and hopped into the back seat, reaching into the back to grab your bags in case you had to stay in a hotel for a few days while the police figured things out.

You stayed crouched, anxiously waiting for Frank to call. When your phone buzzed, you answered quickly.

“Frank?”

“Yeah, you OK, kid?”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen anyone,” you whispered.

“That’s good. We’ll be there in like a minute.”

“OK,” you said. “Frank, I’m scared.”

“I know, honey, but we’re not gonna let anything happen to you,” he said softly.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“Pulling up now,” he said, back to all business. “Come ahead.”

You popped out of the back seat and jumped into the back seat of the car Frank appeared from while he jumped into your SUV and started it up.

You peeked up to see – “Billy?”

“Yeah?”

“What’re you doing here?” you asked, utterly surprised.

“If I had to put a label on it, I’d say driving a getaway car,” he snarked.

“No, I mean…why are you helping me?”

“Frank called.”

You sighed and decided to drop the subject. “Where are we going?”

“Safe house. Oh, you need to get rid of your phone.”

“But…phone,” you sputtered.

He glanced over his shoulder to see the stricken look on your face. “Babe, this could literally turn into a 'pry it from your cold, dead hands’ situation.”

You inhaled sharply in fear. “Gee, thanks for not beating around the bush.”

“You witnessed a mob hit, sweetheart. We don’t have time for coddling,” he said in a businesslike fashion. “I’m guessing that this Knuckles is Jimmy DeMarco.”

You gasped. You couldn’t help it. DeMarco? Joey had gotten mixed up with one of the most notorious crime bosses in New York? “That dumb son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, babe, they ain’t playing and they got cops on their payroll. They will figure out who you are and they will use your phone to find you.”

“Yeah,” you whispered as you popped the back off your phone to get the SIM card out. You tried to break it in half and couldn’t, so you tapped Billy’s shoulder with it. “Can you help me, please?”

He took it and snapped it easily.  _Makes sense, he has really strong hands,_  you thought absently. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he answered. “Take the battery out, then throw them out the window at intervals, all three of 'em.”

“OK,” you said shakily, rolling your window down a couple inches and dropping them outside one at a time. “How far are we going?”

“About an hour or so, depending on traffic. You can grab some shuteye if you want.”

“Too keyed up. If I take off my boots, do you mind if I climb over?”

“Sure. Bring your boots and put them back on, though.”

“Yeah,” you said, understanding that he needed you to be able to move at a moment’s notice. You climbed over the seat, careful not to scuff the interior. “Nice car. Can’t believe you drive it in the city.”

“I have an SUV about like yours for more incognito trips, but this was closer when Frankie called,” he replied. He continued softly, “You’re in trouble, babe.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I feel a pretty fantastic panic attack coming on. I’ll try not to get it all over you.”

Billy reached over and took your hand. “Hey. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. You know that, right?”

You were at a stop light and he was watching you and you looked at him for a moment. He was so earnest that you began to wonder if there was more to William Russo than you had bothered to see before. “Thank you, Billy. Really.”

“Just doin’ my job, ma'am,” he joked.

Except you were far too freaked out by the day to get the joke. “Oh, yeah, of course. Send me a bill.”

He let go of your hand with a bitter little laugh. “Right, of course. Glad to be of service,” he sneered.

“Wait, what just happened?”

“Aside from you treating me like a whore?” he snapped.

“I – what –” you stammered. “Billy, your job is literally security.”

“Yeah, well, I ain’t on the clock right now, sweetheart,” he growled.

You were silent for a moment, realizing that you had hurt his feelings. Way to go, asshole, you thought. The man is literally saving your life. You reached over to take his hand tentatively. “Billy, I am not dealing with this very well. I’m so goddamn scared I can’t think straight,” you said with a little sob. “When you said you were doing your job, I thought you were serious. You rescued me like a White Knight on a mighty steed, and I’m grateful as hell.”

He relaxed a little and looked at you with a typical Billy smirk. “How grateful?”

You laughed and tried to pull your hand from his so that you could smack him playfully but he kept ahold of it and pulled it up to his lips and kissed it. “I promise you, nothing will happen to you. I’m – we – we’re gonna get you through this. Me an’ Frankie been in tighter spots than this.”

You bit your lip, a little choked up. “I dunno – thanks, Bill. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said softly, sincerely. “Now, why don’t you just lean your head back and relax for a while. We got a ways to go.”

You lay your head back on the seat and relaxed, still holding Billy’s hand like a lifeline.

* * *

You woke to a gentle hand squeezing yours, Billy saying your name softly. “C'mon, we’re here.”

“Oh! I fell asleep,” you said in surprise.

“Yes, you did,” he said with a smile.

“Wow,” you said quietly, surprised that you had relaxed enough to rest. “I guess I feel safe with you, huh?”

“Well…not too safe, huh?” he said with a wink and a grin, earning a smile from you. “Let’s get inside.”

“Where are we?” you asked as you walked up to an old farmhouse.

“Up by Cornwall,” he said as he pulled a couple of bags out of the trunk while you got your bags from the back seat.

“Yours?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, even if someone recognized my handsome mug somehow they can’t trace the property to me. We’re safe here.”

“OK,” you answered as you followed him inside, everything rushing back to you at once.

It was an older home, probably not updated since the late 80’s if the dark green carpeting and burgundy floral wall border was any indication. It looked strange with the obviously new leather furniture and high-end TV.

“It’s not fancy,” he said as if to apologize, tossing his suit jacket across the back of the sofa.

“Jesus, Billy, you saved my life and you’re keeping me safe. To quote Melanie Wilkes, 'It isn’t likely that I’d question any device of yours.’”

He looked at you inquisitively and said, “Who?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m babbling. Old movie, Gone With the Wind. Really racist through modern eyes but my Mom grew up loving old movies and passed her love for them on to me.”

“Oh, heard of it but never saw it. You like old movies?” he asked, gesturing to the steps to show you to a bedroom.

“Yeah, I did my undergrad in history,” you said as you followed him up the stairs, shamelessly looking at his ass atop his long legs. His tailor was an artist, his suits always perfection. “Kinda started with watching old movies and thinking, holy shit, this was OK?” Billy chuckled over his shoulder. “My Mom said that I needed to understand that times were different. I figured that History was a way to do that. Plus I knew I wanted to be a lawyer and it’s a good foundation.”

He led you into a room and said, “Bathroom is right across the hall. Only the one so we have to share, but I’ll try not to forget I have a guest.” He chuckled and said, “The third bedroom has two sets of bunk beds so hopefully we’ll never have a full house with only one toilet.”

“Eh, guys are lucky, they can just go outside and water a tree. But I’ll try to remember not to flash you,” you joked.

“Well, don’t worry on my account. I’ll power through the agony if you do,” he flirted, wiggling his eyebrows. “Fresh linens in the dresser. Let me know if you need anything.”

You chuckled at his flirting. “Thanks,” you said quietly. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Is flirting just second nature to you, or…?” you left your question unfinished, looking at him curiously.

Billy walked over to stand right in front of you, so near that you would barely have to move your hand to hold his. “I flirt. I have been successful with women, yes. And I am flirting with you. But, and here’s the important part, I really like you. And if your mafia leg breakers don’t find us and kill us, I would like to spend more time with you and find out if we could maybe work out together. OK?”

You had been looking up at him during his speech, eyes growing wider with each confession, right up until he reminded you that you really had more pressing matters at hand. You closed your eyes and shook your head. “Oh my God, you must think I’m a complete imbecile to be worried about whether you wanna hold my hand when there are people that might wanna kill me.”

You felt his fingers wrap around yours and you opened your eyes. “I do wanna hold your hand. I don’t think you’re an imbecile and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna get killed before I get to kiss you.”

You grinned. “Well, I’m assuming you don’t like kissing corpses so I’m just gonna hold off on kissing you until this is all over with. That way we’re guaranteed to make it through because I think you may be the most stubborn man on the planet.”

He smirked and shrugged. “Probably a tie with Frank. Listen,” he said more seriously, “you can tell me to rot in hell and I’ll still keep you safe.”

You smiled and squeezed his hand. “Aw, Bill,” you whispered, “now what do we have to look forward to?”

He looked confused and said, “Wha –”

But you cut off his question by grabbing him by his tie and pulling him down and into a kiss.

And oh, what a kiss. He may not have been expecting it but he was by God not gonna waste the chance. He pulled back and looked into your eyes, then put his hands on your hips and pulled you into another deeper, hotter kiss.

When you came up for air you were pressed against his chest with one hand gripping his shirt and the other in his hair, panting heavily and eyeing his lips like you wanted to dive back in.

“Fuck,” he hissed, stepping back and away from you.

“What?” you asked. “Was that not good?”

He groaned as if he was in pain. “It was so good, I practically lost consciousness for the entire time we were touching. If I’m gonna protect you, though, I should probably be aware of my surroundings.”

You grimaced. “Uuuuggghhh! Shit, I’m sorry Billy. I am all over the place here.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he said quietly, tentatively pulling you into a hug. “This is a helluva lot, but it’s gonna be OK.”

You nodded, in no great hurry to leave his arms. The violence that you had witnessed and the danger it had placed you in had broken through your usual barriers and made you want to lean on him – to let him in.

But was that the man or the situation?

Billy felt you stiffen and had a good idea what was going through your head. Stepping back again, he said, “I’m not gonna take advantage of fear and adrenaline to get you into bed. I want more than that from you, but not until this is in our rearview. So, settle in and I’ll get changed in my room and see what I can scare up for dinner. Good?”

You smiled gratefully. “As good as it gets. Thank you, Billy.”

He nodded back, smiling as he left your room.

You dropped down onto the bed and bounced on the mattress a few times. Comfy. You turned a bit to dig through your bags and see what you actually had collected in them. You sighed. Not much. Hopefully there were laundry facilities and Billy had something you could borrow or you’d be wearing these clothes for the foreseeable future.

Billy. Your mind was spinning. You had always thought he was handsome – you had eyes, after all. And he definitely had that swagger you liked. But then you remembered that night a few weeks back at the club where he’d said that he was taking your rejection as a challenge.

You felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over you. Of course. This was Billy Russo. Frank had asked him for help and this was a means to an end; you’re scared and in trouble and he swoops in and plays the hero. Boom, panties on the floor.

But he’d just said that wasn’t what he was doing?

_Get a grip, girl,_  you told yourself.  _This man can get and has gotten any woman he wants. There’s no reason that you would be the one to tame the beast._

You nodded to yourself.  _Keep it professional. And don’t kiss him again, you goddamn idiot!_

* * *

You went downstairs and found him in the kitchen wearing black jeans, a dark pullover and combat boots and you had to close your eyes and give yourself a pep talk.  _He’s just a man, you’re a grown woman who doesn’t have crushes and butterflies at the sight of a gorgeous man with a perfect body in tight clothes._

When you opened your eyes, Billy was looking at you curiously. “You OK there?”

You slapped on a smile and said, “So great. Just like any other day I saw my cousin murdered and have to hide from the mafia.”

He came over and put his hands on your shoulders and said “Hey, we’re handling this. Frank has my best guys working with him on this.”

You exhaled, relaxing a bit. Focus on the guys trying to kill you, maybe that will make you less horny. “Thank you. And I don’t mean to make you feel like a whore, but this is your business, and you’re using your business resources on me. If you have your best guys on this, that means they aren’t in something else. I’d really like to pay Anvil.”

He smiled, a genuine smile that you hadn’t seen before but you recognized that it reached his eyes. “How about I give you the family and friends discount?”

“That what we are, Bill?” you asked quietly. “We friends?”

He slid his hands down your shoulders and took both of yours in them. “I’d like to start there.”

“And where’s the finish line?”

He tipped his head sideways and gave you a half-smile. “I mean…I dunno. Do you know where every first date is gonna lead?”

You snorted. “I know where it won’t.”

He dropped your hands. “Ah. Back to thinking I’m just trying to fuck you, huh?” he said rhetorically. “And I suppose I’m protecting you as some elaborate ruse to get you into bed. Tell me, did I out put the hit on your cousin, too? That must be some quality pussy you’re packin’ to think it’s worth all that.”

Your eyes flew open wide and you gasped in shock, but you had no words.

He stormed to the front door, grabbing his keys. “I’m goin’ into town to get some groceries. Don’t worry, I’ll add it to your bill.” He slammed the door behind him and you went over to the window and watched him stride angrily down the path in front of the house. Then you heard a garage door open and an engine rev. A minute later you saw a black SUV peel down the driveway, gravel spitting angrily from the tires.

“Fuck!” you shouted. “Fuck fuck fuck!”

Billy had been nothing but kind. You were basing your treatment of him entirely from Marci’s warnings and that was not fair. You had been such a blind little follower that you hadn’t even asked why she hated him, just took her at her word. You went to grab your phone to call her and ask her what he had done that was so terrible before remembering you had ditched it and cursed some more.

You were ashamed of yourself. Apart from the time he had tried a line or two on you at that club, he had always been friendly if flirtatious. By contrast, you had been standoffish, rude, condescending and outright insulting to him, a lot of it today while he was risking his life to keep yours safe.

Fear and anxiety would only go so far in explaining your shitty attitude. You were being an asshole to a man who was bending over backwards to keep you safe.

Looks like the family wouldn’t have to search very hard for Joey’s Biggest Douchebag in the Family title-holder. You’d slide right in like you were born to it.

You were an asshole. A big one.

You thought about how you could try to apologize to Billy. You paced back and forth in the living room waiting for him to return. He’d been gone a long time; how far away was the grocery anyway?

It had been almost two hours when you heard a car coming up the driveway. You ran to the window to look, but it wasn’t the SUV that Billy had left in; his was black, this one was silver.

“Shit!” you hissed, terrified. What if they had found Billy and hurt him because of you?

You were almost in a state of full-blown panic when the door to the SUV opened and Curtis stepped out. He stretched a bit, grabbed a bag from the back seat and headed to the front door.

You hurried over and opened the door. “Where’s Billy?” you asked anxiously.

“He asked me to come and keep an eye on things here while he went back to the city to help Frank,” he replied as he came inside. That was the sanitized version, of course. Billy’s actual words were more like, “She thinks I’m a piece of shit so how about you go stay with her and I’ll go get rid of her problem so she never has to associate with a lowlife like me again?”

“Shit,” you cursed again. “I fucked up, Curt.”

He chuckled. “Oh, ya think?”

You laughed bitterly. “He was being super nice. And I can only blame so much of it on being scared; most of it is just that I’m an asshole.”

“Well, Billy does have feelings and I think you hurt every one of 'em.”

“Damn, dude, don’t sugarcoat it,” you said in a tired voice.

Curt pulled you into a half-hug. “He only stays mad half as long as Frank. Hell, he’ll probably be totally over it in a decade or so.”

You chuckled and turned into his chest, laughter turning to tears as everything caught up to you.

“OK, c'mon, it’ll be alright,” he soothed.

You babbled.something unintelligible about your family and Billy and you were an asshole so you should run the family business. Curtis really couldn’t follow but he guessed he didn’t need to right now. You just needed to let some of it out.

* * *

Billy had been watching the house and the driveway from a deer blind that he had turned into an observation point, so he had given the food he bought to Curtis and apprised him if the security measures he had taken at the house, then made sure that he got there OK and you let him in.

He watched Curtis go inside and drop his bags. Judging from the way you were clinging to Curtis, Billy figured you were content with the personnel change.

He climbed down to get in his SUV and drive back to the city. He texted Curt to say he was leaving and Frank to say he was on his way. He was going to make some mafia dirtbags sorry they’d ever been born and then make a booty call and fuck out some of his frustration.

Maybe not in that order.

* * *

The next day, Curt coaxed you into watching a movie with him. He also waved the bottle of wine Billy had obviously bought for you. You snatched it and went and plopped onto the sofa, telling him you didn’t care what you watched as long as it wasn’t about murder, mafia or handsome men with dark eyes.

When he was flipping through the available movies, you suggested Horrible Bosses, Dodgeball, Old School, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and The Hangover. When Curtis didn’t feel comfortable watching those, you found Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and then you found Girls Trip and didn’t even ask him if it was OK.

“Man, I don’t wanna watch that with you! You should only watch that with your girls or your man.”

“Pick which one you are, Curt. I need to laugh and this movie makes me laugh so hard you might wanna put a towel under me.”

“Super.”

_Curtis: You fuckin owe me, man. She’s making me watch a chick flick._

You watched the movie together for a while, Curt nursing a beer and you drinking wine faster than usual.

_Billy: Congratulations. How was she?_

Curt scowled at Billy’s inference that he had slept with you.

_Curtis: Fuck you, Billy. If you were wearing your big boy boots you’d be here babysitting._

_Billy: Hey, you’re welcome to her._

_Curtis: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you jealous before. Not a good look._

“You talking to Billy?” you asked when you noticed him texting.

“Yeah,” he said grumpily.

“Tell him hi?” you asked timidly.

_Curtis: Your girl says hi_

_Billy: Blow me_

_Curtis: Am I supposed to tell her that you want her to perform oral sex on you or….?_

_Billy: Tell her it isn’t a fuckin social call_

“What did he say?” you asked Curt, a bit sloppy.

“He’s really busy…” he evaded.

You started crying.

“Shit,” he hissed.

_Curtis: She’s crying because you couldn’t say hi. It’s one word. Now I gotta go comfort your girlfriend._

“Heyyy,” he began, pulling you over next to him and hugging you. “It’s gonna be OK.”

“I just…Marci warned me and then when I said no at the bar he said I was a challenge. I didn’t mean to hurt him but how was I supposed to know he wasn’t going to hump and dump me like he did Shannon?”

“Ohhhh,” he said, everything coming together. “Tell me about the bar.”

You told him how Billy had seen you at the club and you asked if he was too drunk to recognize a rejection and he said he didn’t take it as a rejection but a challenge.

“Well, that sounds very much like something Bill would say,” he answered when you had calmed down and related the story.

“I kissed him,” you admitted quietly.

“Oh?” he asked uncomfortably.

You nodded. “When we first got here. He was being really sweet and taking care of me and he’s always handsome and funny and smart and sexy. I just – kissed him.”

“Then you remembered the bar and this Shannon chick.”

“Yeah,” you whispered. “And now he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, he just doesn’t know how to deal with feelings. He didn’t exactly have a nurturing upbringing and any softness he had left got beat out of him in the Marines.” He sighed before he went on, “And I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but now he’s crazy about you and doesn’t know how to handle it.”

“God, I am such a bitch,” you groaned.

“Nah. You’ve been through a lot and you got some pretty accurate info from a friend. It just didn’t happen to be what was happening this time, but this is all new territory for Billy. He needs to come around and see that,” he said, dreading the next time he saw his brother face to face, because it might come to blows.

Better get Frankie on board.

* * *

You stayed at the house with Curtis for four days. You didn’t have your phone, you had no idea what was happening, you knew your family must be going crazy and you felt guilty as shit for how you treated Billy. When you asked Curt what was going on he would just say that they were working on it.

And you wanted to punch him.

Curtis dreaded getting a text or call while you were near because you would interrogate him afterwards. Billy and Frank had both been very clear that they were working outside the law and they didn’t know if you could handle that knowledge.

Personally, Curtis thought you could handle the knowledge one hell of a lot better than you were handling the lack of it. You spent your time pacing, jumping at every noise and jerking to attention whenever he got a notification.

“Was that Billy?” you asked when his phone vibrated.

He looked down at it and grimaced. “Yeah.”

“What did he say?”

“Wants me to call.”

“So call.”

“Ah he would prefer it if I wasn’t in the same room as you.”

“Look, I was shitty but this is my life, my family! Do they even know I’m safe?”

“Look, write down your questions and I’ll ask him, but I’m gonna go out to my car to call him.”

You gnashed your teeth. You were absolutely not used to being at the mercy of other people’s whims. You swallowed your frustration, though, and nodded. “I’ll go do that now. Thank you.”

You wrote up the list quickly, then hastily added a last question and then reconsidered it and crossed it off. You took it down and gave it to Curt and he went out to his car.

It hurt that he wouldn’t even make the call where you could perchance to overhear a word or two.

Curtis went out and dialed Billy.

“Hey brother,” Billy greeted him. “How’s the babysitting gig going?”

“Funny. Your girl has some questions,” he said deliberately.

“Ain’t my girl,” Billy argued. “What’s she want? She got a nail appointment she needs to make?”

“Man, don’t act like you think she’s like that,” Curt scolded.

“Whatever. What’s her list of demands?”

Curtis sighed. “She wants to know if her family knows she’s safe?”

Billy hesitated. “Yes. I had one of my guys tell them she was safe but in an undisclosed location with no way to reach her.”

“That’s good, she’ll appreciate that.”

“Didn’t do it for her,” he grumbled.

“Billy, man, you’re doing all this for her. Quit acting like you don’t care. Least with me.”

“Fine,” he bit out. “Next?”

“Is her family safe?”

“No one has had any threats made or harm done.”

“Has anyone been hurt trying to help her?”

“Nothing major.”

“There’s one more here but she crossed it off so you probably don’t wanna hear it, huh?” Curt baited Billy.

“What?” Billy bit out.

“Will you ever forgive her?”

“We should have this cleared up in a day or two. Talk to you soon, Curt,” he said as he hung up.

* * *

Curt walked inside and you waited anxiously. He relayed Billy’s answers and the hope that it would all be over in a few days.

You nodded in relief. You could get your life back.

And you had been giving it a lot of thought; you wanted to see if maybe you could apologize and have Billy as a part of that life.

* * *

You had been back in the city for a couple weeks. The first several days had been a blur of family members holding on to you like you might disappear. Your entire family had come home for Joey’s funeral and your parents were loathe to let you out of their sight.

The police had put you through several hours of questioning. They found it extremely coincidental that all of the men whose descriptions you had provided had turned up dead while you were conveniently out of town at an 'undisclosed location.’ Because Billy had been so adamant about keeping any and all details if what he and his men were doing, you were honestly able to say that you had no knowledge of any of it.

Once again, Billy had gone above and beyond to ensure your safety.

Answering your texts or calls was apparently not included in the Anvil Save Your Life and Professional Reputation Package. You had called and texted him numerous times. He had left you on read and sent your calls to voicemail. You had gone to the group meetup and he had left when you arrived. He was determined to avoid you and give you the cold shoulder.

Which was why you were walking up to the Anvil office, heart in your mouth and checkbook in hand. After all, if you weren’t friends then you didn’t deserve a discount.

You went in and the receptionist politely greeted you and you asked if Mr. Russo was in. She asked for your name and called up, giving your name. Her eyes went wide and she glanced at you, saying a quick, “Will do,” and hanging up.

“Mr. Russo can’t see you right now.”

“I’ll wait.”

“I don’t think that will help,” she said sympathetically.

You turned and sat down in the little seating area and said, “If he doesn’t have time to see me today, I’ll come back tomorrow.” You pulled out your phone and began answering emails for work.

You heard the receptionist make another call, presumably to Billy, then simply went about her business.

You had been waiting for two hours when she made another hushed call, followed by a louder, “Then you tell her!” before she hung up rather loudly.

Your eyes shot up to hers and she looked at you sympathetically. “Men,” she spat.

“Right?” you said with a smile. Then you shrugged and went back to your emails.

A few minutes later you heard someone approach and your stomach flipped, but when you looked up it was Frank. “Hey, kid.”

You looked up at him and realized that your gambit had failed; rather than talk to you, Billy had sent his second in command to deal with the nuisance in the lobby.

Your eyes welled and your lower lip began to tremble. You didn’t really cry all that much, but when you did it was generally ugly and messy.

Frank recognized the signs and pulled you into his arms, then led you over to an elevator and up to his office, all the while patting your arm or shoulder and saying things like, “Oh, hey, kid, don’t do that”, “Don’t cry, it’ll be OK”, or “C'mon kiddo, let it out” when he realized that you weren’t going to stop any time soon.

When your crying jag was mostly over, you lifted your head from Frank’s shoulder to find yourself on a comfortable sofa in a small office that looked like it had seen more than a few naps.

“I’m sorry, Frank,” you said quietly. “I thought he’d talk to me if I showed up but I guess I underestimated how much he loathes me.”

“He doesn’t loathe ya, kid,” he said in his deep, gruff voice. When you first met him you mistook his brusque mannerisms for hardness, and he was – except for with the people he he cared about. Somehow, you had become one of those people.

“Coulda fooled me,” you said, digging in your bag for a tissue.

“Here,” he said, going over to his desk and getting you a box of tissues from his desk.

“Thanks. I’m sure I look lovely.”

He shrugged. “Look like you’ve been crying.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I better get over it,” you said quietly, resigned. “Must not be worth the challenge after all.”

“Aw, kid –” he started.

You shook your head. “It’s OK. Now I know. I’ll talk to you soon, OK? Thanks for letting me cry all over you,” you said as you gave him a hug.

“No problem,” he answered quietly, disheartened to see you so defeated.

“Put together a bill and send it to me. I don’t qualify for the friends and family discount.”

* * *

Frank walked you to the door and into the car you had called. You were seriously down and he was seriously pissed at his best friend. He pulled out his phone and made a call.

“Hey, brother. Feel like helping me beat some sense into Bill?”

“Hell yeah. Count me in,” Curt answered with a grin.

* * *

You were sitting on your sofa eating some Cherry Garcia, watching Jane the Virgin and feeling sorry for yourself. Jane was the only person with a love life more tragic than yours so you were bingeing, both on TV and ice cream.

You had come straight home from Anvil. Your parents were mopping up the mess that was the family business, Joey’s parents were trying to keep themselves and their kids from falling apart, your Grandparents were doing a little of both, and you – you were sitting at home crying over a boy.

Pathetic.

You had seen a therapist who suggested that you may be focusing on Billy because you were traumatized over your cousin’s murder, but honestly you had cried for Joey, sure, but you were mostly pissed at him for jeopardizing the whole family with his greed and vice.

The extent of his mess wasn’t even completely discerned yet, and since you were the corporate attorney, some of that fell on you until they determined otherwise. Oh, nobody thought you were involved, but then nobody thought Joey would do anything like this. So, you were tainted by association and barred from the office. All you were allowed to do was forward emails to someone who could deal with things. Luckily, your Mom had kept her law license up to date and was able to cover things.

So, you couldn’t work. You missed the funeral. You couldn’t go anywhere because it would look like you were fleeing. All you could do was sit on your couch, watch TV, eat ice cream and cry.

So you were gonna be the best goddamn couch-sitting-TV-watching-ice-cream-eating-cryer there was. You were thinking of adding wine drinking to the mix.

So, your coffee table was covered with used tissues and an empty pint of ice cream, your eyes and nose were red and swollen and you hated yourself and felt stupid in turns. You hated yourself when you thought that he was avoiding you because you hurt him, you felt stupid when you thought he was avoiding you because you hadn’t been worth the effort.

Either way, you had been stupid enough to fall for a poonhound, despite all the evidence that he was one and would never change.

“Bravo, twit,” you muttered.

A few minutes later there was a knock at your door. You weren’t expecting anyone, but your family and friends had been dropping by randomly to make sure you were OK. They really didn’t get it that beside the half-hour or so after you saw Joey die, you had felt completely safe.

Because of Billy.

Fuck. You had fresh tears rolling down your cheeks and your nose went from zero to snot bubble in like three seconds. You grabbed a tissue and went over to the peephole.

Holy shit.

Billy was standing there, and – wait, was he bleeding? You hurried to open the door and pulled him inside. “Oh my God, what happened?”

He didn’t meet your eyes or say anything.

It only took you a second to figure it out and goddamn it, you started crying again. “Oh my God, did Frank beat you up and make you come over? Just get the fuck out, Russo! I’m pathetic but I’ve never had to get a date through physical violence!” You opened the door and pushed him back at it. “Just go away.”

“Hang on a second,” he said quietly.

“Why?” you spat. “I’ve texted and called and made a public fucking fool of myself. Why exactly should I hang on a second?” If you were a cat you would be hissing and spitting, you were so angry.

“Because I should have understood why you were hesitant to trust me when I said you were a challenge. Because I really like you, and I’ve never wanted to be with just one woman before. Because I treated you like shit, and even if you don’t want to try, I need you to know that I’m sorry and I get – I get why you thought I might try to use you.

"And if you want me to leave, I will. But, I’d really like to see where this could go, because I think we would be great together.

"When I lost – just damn near everything, Frank and Curtis were my voices of reason. I would become infuriated when a company would pull a contract or I’d get the cold shoulder at a seminar where I was speaking. Curt and Frank would drag me down to the training room and basically beat the hell out of me til I was back in my right mind.

"Well, to their way of thinking, I was out of my head where you were concerned, so they took the opportunity to remind me that while my sense of honor is inviolable, you don’t know that. That while I have never once told a girl that I felt more for her than I did to get her into bed, you didn’t know that. And that while I may have said that your rejection was a challenge to me, I didn’t mean that I only wanted you because I wanted the test of my seduction skills or something.

"I’m crazy about you, and if I didn’t let my stubbornness and hurt man-feelings ruin whatever feelings you had for me, please give me another chance?”

You were hugging yourself and wiping tears every so often. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, Billy. You were bending over backwards to keep me safe. You took me to a secret place of yours. You were kind and brave and supportive with me. And I took the words of someone I know well but doesn’t know you well at all over the things that I had seen with my own eyes. Why should you forgive me for being an asshole to you?”

He pointed at the door, which was still open. “Can we just shut this?” At your nod he pushed it to, then reached out a hand for you to take, which you did after a brief hesitation. “Hi, my name is Billy Russo, we have some mutual friends.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Russo. Spending time with mutual friends would be a really great way for us to get to know each other better. Like maybe at a game night at your apartment?” you said with a smile.

Billy smiled back and pulled you a little closer. “Will you be on my Pictionary team?”

“I dunno, are you any good at games?” you asked, double meaning obvious.

“Not with feelings,” he said quietly but sincerely.

You smiled gently. “I dunno, Russo, I have pretty strong feelings about winning.”

“We could try a game I like to call 'Kiss Each Other and See If We Can Make Each Other Forget Our Names Like Last Time.’”

“The title might need work,” you said with a thoughtful face. “But I think we should get a feel for the rules before we change the name.”

Billy pulled you into his arms and you just held each other for a few moments.

“I swear to you, I would never hit and quit you. And I don’t just see you as a challenge that I need to beat. You’re a beautiful, amazing woman and I have been head over heels for you for months. Please give me a chance to show you how much I care about you.”

You lifted your head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes, one of which was darkening with a shiner, but aside from the darkening bruise, all you saw in his eyes was sincerity and gentle affection. “Yes, Bill, I want to show you how much I care, too.” You smiled brightly. “I might even share my ice cream with you.”

“Slow down, woman, ice cream is just before proposing!” he joked.

“Bill, it’s Cherry Garcia. It might be a bigger commitment than mere marriage.”

He hugged you again while you laughed at each other’s jokes, then slowly lowered his split lips to yours. And it was every bit as remarkably mind-blowing as the first kiss.

“Yeah, you’re definitely getting into my pints, Bill. You’ve earned it,” you said with a wink as you went and got another spoon and a fresh carton of ice cream.

You sat down on the sofa next to each other and decided what to watch before opening the ice cream.

“Oh my God this is amazing!” he groaned.

“Right?” you said as you took a spoonful and closed your eyes. “Better than sex.”

“Oh, honey, I promise you it isn’t,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

You giggled and put a dab of ice cream on his nose, then on his lip which you proceeded to lick from them. “Can’t just waste good ice cream like that, Billy,” you whispered, giving him the smoldering eyes.

Billy leaned toward you, eyes alternating between your eyes and lips. When he was certain they both said 'Yes’, he closed the distance and kissed you, starting slowly and winding up with you in his lap and gasping for air.

“Go out with me. Please,” he asked you. “You’re everything I ever wanted in a woman and never thought I could have.”

You looked into his eyes again. The sincerity had been joined by passion, but there were definitely worse combinations. “Yes, let’s go out or stay in or whatever. You’re everything I never knew I needed in a man. I think – this could be real.”

“It’s very real to me, babe. I promise.”

“Well, in that case, do you think we should choose a different song to be ours?” you said with a mischievous grin.

“I dunno. Can we have more than one? Because I gotta tell ya, there are some pretty accurate sentiments in that song, too,” he said with that smirk that you loved, throwing in a wink to make him completely irresistible.

You ran your fingers through his hair and simply looked at him fondly. “You’re going to lead me on a wild ride, aren’t you Bill?”

“How about instead of me leading we take this ride together?”

“That sounds like a good plan. And how about we order a pizza and cuddle since you look like you got beat up and I cried for hours?”

“You got a deal. Then more of that ice cream for dessert?”

“I guess that’ll do until other dessert options are on the menu,” you said with an eyebrow wiggle.

Billy chuckled and kissed you softly. “I like the sound of that,” he whispered, then kissed you again, both of you excited to see where this ride would take you.


End file.
